a little overreaction never hurt anyone

I admit it...

I'm a worrier... when it comes to my people if things aren't going smoothly I tend to get a little concerned.

That's an understatement.

A really big understatement.

I don't fly off the handle and force them into the hospital for a cold but I will stay by their side as much as humanly possible (x10) until they're all better...

But what's this? A dilemma!

I was scheduled to help in K's class Thursday morning. I do it at least once a month and have since she started school. It's something I really look forward to, but not nearly as much as she does. There's something about the day that I help in class that's just perfect for her. Magical. She loves it...

Knowing that I would have a full morning ahead of me and that I would not only have to get her and Mr. Kaos ready and out the door but get myself showered, fed and ready too, I went to bed early Wednesday night.

Really early for me. Say... 10pm?

Mr. Kaos was complaining of being very tired and he was having a little indigestion so he too went to bed early (by 11? which again... very early for him). We were too tired for any fun and games... too tired to do anything at all except fall into a deep sleep...

Well I fell into a deep sleep.... He laid in bed with his stomach pain slowly increasing until I awoke at 1 AM to hear him complaining about it.

By 1:30 he was getting sick in the bathroom.

Mr. Kaos doesn't do that. In all the time we've been together he as "gotten sick" 3 times. I felt so bad for him. I got up, fetched him water, offered him a cool cloth and stayed up fretting for about an hour while he slowly went back to sleep...

When 6:15 rolled around I wasn't what you'd call excited to hop out of bed and into the shower, but I rolled out of the covers anyway. I reminded Mr. Kaos that he would NOT be going to work today and to turn off his alarm already, stopped by K's room and told her to rise and shine, then hopped in the shower.

Mr. Kaos did not stir. He lay there quiet, still and hot.

Oh boy. He's sick. Really sick. Did he drink enough water? I hope he isn't dehydrated! Should I call the doctor?

Never mind that he's a 44 year old man who can take care of himself... I was worried.

But I pressed on with the morning getting K ready to go, feeling awful, wracked with guilt. I would feel guilty if I left him here alone in the midst of this illness, I would feel terrible if I canceled on helping in K's class (even if I found another mom to replace me).

Should I stay or should I go?

I figured that K's need may be greater today... she's been having a hard time as of late, we're not sure why...

I told Mr. Kaos to call if he needed me and I took her to school careful to keep my cell phone on and near me (I always turn it off when I'm helping in class... I want the kids to have my full attention).

At first things were fine. I was glad the phone didn't ring thinking it meant he was resting well. Getting better. Then the worry got the best of me.

What if he's sick again? What if he isn't drinking water? What if he doesn't eat anything? What if he's dehydrated? What if he's laying unconscious on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own sick and he drowns? What if he NEEDS ME?

I wish I was joking but I really thought about each of those items.

So while the kids took their spelling quiz I sent a text message... I'm really not a texter but this time I felt it was the best option. I could check on him and not disturb the class. Win win right?

Wrong. He didn't send a message back. There was no indication he got it.

He's just sleeping, I told myself. He needs the rest, I assured myself.

Still the thoughts came:

What if he's sick again? What if he isn't drinking water? What if he doesn't eat anything? What if he's dehydrated? What if he's laying unconscious on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own sick and he drowns? What if he NEEDS ME?

But I pushed them away and continued on... We worked on all manner of projects and then it was time to get the kids ready for lunch. They all dutifully washed, wandered off to their lockers, got lunches, coats and blankets to prepare themselves for lunch, recess and quiet time. I waited. K brought in her Hello Kitty lunch box and my Munsters lunch box and got in line.

"Can I carry your lunch box mama, it's just so cool!"

I told her of course she could. I walked down the hall with her lunch box in one hand and her hand in the other while she strutted with my Munsters lunch box held out for all the school to see...

I ate in silence. The children talked and laughed. I helped them open their packages. Told them to use nice hands. Thought about Mr. Kaos... hoped he had been eating something, drinking water, getting rest, feeling better.

As the kids were dismissed for recess I walked K and her two lovely friends out to the playground and then made a break for it. A beeline.

I hurried away from the school waiting until enough distance had passed and the din had quieted and I called Mr. Kaos.

The phone rang and rang.

No answer. Voicemail.

Oh the worry. Oh the concern. Oh the hysterics:

What if he's sick again? What if he isn't drinking water? What if he doesn't eat anything? What if he's dehydrated? What if he's laying unconscious on the bathroom floor in a pool of his own sick and he drowns? What if he NEEDS ME?

Of course I knew that he was just sleeping. He probably turned off the ringer wanting to rest and not get any calls from work (or his irrationally insane wife).

Still... did I enjoy my walk in the sunshine? Did I stroll? Did I stop to get a chai for myself?

Hell no. I bolted home as fast as I could walk, climbed the front step, unlocked the door and called out to him...

There was no answer.

I threw off my coat, kicked off my shoes and dropped my purse on the table...

I hurried into the bedroom to find him asleep in bed.

Feverish... but fine.

Now imagine how bad I am when K's sick...

an update... or...

My kid's ear could beat up your kid's ear....

Today we finally took K to the doc. I know it seems like we waited FOREVER to take her to the doctor but we had been assured that this bug that is going around lasts a loooooooonnnnnnnnng ass time.

Well today was the day that her doctor said ENOUGH. Little K Kaos can't be sick anymore, let's take a look and a listen.

I was relieved. What with the 6 days of off and on fevers... and the coughing... and the body aches... and the tired... and the whining... and the sniffles... and the tummy ache.

All manners of ill had befallen my little one, but still there was one that we didn't see coming.

The exam was going as expected, they weighed her and took her temperature which of course was normal because she was AT the doctor's office. She stopped sniffling because she was at the doctor's office. She stopped coughing because she was at the doctor's office. But her doctor took a look and a listen. She peeked inside her ear and said "So K is this ear bothering you?" K shook her head. Doctor P, that's what we'll call her, looked at me for a moment with a touch of concern then moved on the K's other ear. Then she went back and looked in the first ear and looked at me again. "Has she been tugging on it or touching it? Anything?"

I told her no, not at all.

"Wow K, you're one tough kid..."

K looked so proud... and then that pride swelled into a HUGE coughing fit and Doctor P asked "Is that how she's been coughing?" I said that yes it was, and that she gets stuck coughing that way and can't catch her breath.

As K put her boots back on Doctor P told me that K has, for the most part, what she's seen going around, that this is the worst winter she's seen as far as illness goes so we shouldn't worry or feel bad and that K's got one hell of an ear infection and it needs to be treated. Only I think maybe she didn't use the word hell...

Apparently K should be feeling some pain there. Apparently she should be crying and whining and tugging that ear while she sucks her thumb... but not my kid no...

My kid's ear could kick your kid's ear's ass.... cause she's tough...

Until you make her take yucky medicine... then she's just a puddle of crying goo hoping she'll get a powdered donut out of the deal...


***


What about me? Oh, what about me? I feel like shit. My fever is down but not gone. The thing that pisses me off the most?

Well aside from the fact that I read these posts too so I know how obnoxious the SICK posts are...

I was doing SO WELL on my Fit February work outs but I've now done nothing NOTHING more active than carrying K around the pharmacy while waiting for her prescription to be filled and that just about did me in...

The next post? Won't be about being sick. Maybe it will be about naming a penis or... Mr. Kaos' new computer... or about the fact that I'm going to be on Mr. Fab's show again this weekend....

Yeah, maybe one of those things. Or how much I love booze.

hear my demands...

As some of you may be aware I spent the last week nursing my husband and child back to health. Today Mr. Kaos is feeling well enough to run around the house cleaning and obsessing.

K is bemoaning the fact that she can't ride her bike and making clever messy foam sculptures in the bathroom sink...

I, all the while, didn't feel great. I was tired and achy with a mild cough so I wanted to rest so that I wouldn't get as sick as they were... I figured I could beat this thing that had so heavily inflicted them with a combination of vitamin C, water and rest... and whining.

This morning I woke up and what a lovely surprise, K's fever was gone. Her ever present cough was still there but it was lessoning. Mr. Kaos was obviously feeling better too.

HOORAY thought I.

I cut and toasted bagels for the small motley crew assembled in the dining room... there's a change, not one sick person eating in my bed!

I started feeling tired as I put the bagels in the oven (WHAT... that's right... in the oven. We don't even own a toaster... that's what the broiler is for). I got out the cream cheese and took my blood pressure medication. K was hungry right then so I handed her some yogurt.

And she ate it. All of it. Without complaint... things were going well. Really well.

But still, as I pulled the bagels out of the oven I was freezing. I asked Mr. Kaos to check the thermostat... it was still set high to deal with the sickies that had been going on throughout the week.

Damn.

I sat down to enjoy my lovely cherry coke and bagel (it's my one serious indulgence so hush). I was cold. My stomach lurched and the room began to spin a bit...

I told Mr. I wasn't feeling at all well and I left the room to climb into bed. There in my bedside table was the ear thermometer that we've had since K was born. I popped that bad boy into my ear and listened for the telltale beep that signifies it has scanned your brain and mapped it while checking your body temperature. I pulled it around to take a peek at my totally normal temperature.

Only in place of my normal 97.something... was 100.3

Fuck.

As I write this my body is dissolving Tylenol and under three blankets in yoga pants and a hoodie. I am freezing. I am sore. My coughing has gotten worse.

Why is it then that I sit here and type out this post?

Because this is the first time in days no one has been making demands of me. Mr. Kaos is quietly in the other room, K is curled up next to me resting and watching junk TV... I have a desperate hope that she will be well enough to go to school tomorrow... fever is gone but that cough when she runs around... bad news.

What was I saying? Oh, this is the first time in days I've had more than ten minutes with my precious laptop.

I've been reading and sometimes commenting on your posts from my phone... because it was all I had time for... so I am going to use my computer for a while. I am going to sit here and type on it... and then when I'm done if I'm not sleeping I'm going to take advantage of another amenity that has been installed here in my bedroom.

You see Friday night Mr. Kaos moved the Wii up from the cold cold basement to the warm cozy bedroom...

I'm gonna Wii my brains out.

now for my demands.

Mr. Kaos, you may clean and hover all you want but don't ask me any questions.

K, stop whining and suck it up. Mama is sick. She doesn't want to watch that. She doesn't want to hear that. But apparently when sick she talks about herself in the third person, accept that and don't ask why.

I will get over this in one day. HEAR ME? One day. Tomorrow morning when I wake up I will be healthy.

And you guys... you guys will forgive all this whining... because you have to. Because I am too sick to have you hate me.

Maybe I will play my Wii later... I just took my temperature again... it's up to 100.4 and I'm getting tired.

Crap.

I really want to make a post about the debate but...

As the Kaos family lays in bed recovering from this awful little bug that we've caught (by the by Mr. Kaos thinks this came from a specific coworker of his and though he is currently traveling abroad I will track his ass down and punish him for the sickness he has cast upon our family) Mr. Kaos and I are watching yet another in a long line of Democratic debates.

We've watched most of the debates.

It's important to me to see how they behave, to hear what they have to say and to be able to roll my eyes straight into the back of my head and grit my teeth as I hear the occasional idiocy and dirty little vocal jab come about.

But tonight... well tonight it's just tough. Maybe it's that Mr. Kaos is stir crazy from being home sick for 3 days (that's right THREE DAYS home sick two of them entirely flat on his back) (no I didn't take advantage of him.... how dare you make that implication... I have self control... and besides we aren't talking about me we're talking about the debate... get your mind out of the gutter)... what was I saying?

Oh yes... maybe it's that Mr. Kaos can't stop commenting about Obama having the same bug we have or mocking HRC or the questioners (that is a very technical term.... I'm sorry if you aren't familiar with it) or maybe it's the little girl who is bouncing back and forth between COUGHING and literally whispering "blah blah blah blah blah blah" at the screen, rolling herself into my comforter until it pulls away from me, jetting off to draw a picture and then sighing with the heavy weight of a fever and not feeling well. Or maybe that I have the shortest attention span in the world today... whatever it is the debate has only been going on for 32 minutes at this point and I feel like I've been watching it for 6 years.

6 years is alot of my life to waste watching a debate. Especially since I already know who I'm voting for. Who I'm cheering for. Who I'm hoping will lead our country in a better direction.

Or maybe I am just too busy wondering if they're speaking from the same stage that Austin City Limits is filmed on... cause there was the one Austin City Limits show that just rocked my world... it was Tom Waits... we all know how much Cami and the Kaos family love Tom Waits right?

So instead of trying to say anything witty or insightful about politics or this particular debate (though I loved the way Obama knocked HRC down when the questioner asked him about her plagiarism accusations...) I will leave you with a a musical interlude....

(not from Austin City Limits)

...only it occurs to me that an interlude implies there is something on the other side of that music.. so um.

I will leave you with this.

HELP ME
if my husband doesn't go back to work soon...
if my daughter doesn't go back to school soon...
I will become a babbling moron who yells non sequiturs on the street corner at passing nothingness. Wanna watch?

from the mouths of babes...

or maybe from the mouths, noses, hands and eyes of babes...

Do all of you know what kindergarten really is? It's some kind of test lab for breeding colds, flus and other assorted cruds. Since K started full day kindergarten in January she has been sick, I think, 4 times. Most of those were little one day home things where she needed the rest and I didn't want her snot faucet to run on the other children... once she missed 3 days of school with a high fever. For craps sake she missed school Friday because her nose was so runny she had a stomach ache.

No, I'm not joking.

But those germs... they don't just effect her... Even though we wash hands constantly, clean faces, all bathe and disinfect things Mr. Kaos and I have each been sick 3 or 4 times. Including now.

Why! Why did no one warn us that kindergarten was somehow a more effective breeding ground for germs than even preschool?

Why! Why do we keep catching these creepy cruds time and time again?

THIS SUCKS...

But I am not posting this to whine and complain. I am posting it as a warning to any of you parents that have not yet undergone the rigors of kindergarten...

You still have time.

It's not too late.

Buy your kid a plastic bubble.

umm...

So guys...

How you doing?

Really? Oh, wow... I'm so sorry to hear that....

or

WOW! That's just great.

(you can pick whichever one applies to you).

I am kind of in a unique situation here babies... I don't know what to say

*chirp chirp*

It's been months since I've had a "I don't know that to say" day...

I could have just, you know, left you hanging... but that's not my style.

Perhaps it's this nasty cold I have. It's just hanging in there... It's been a few days and I can't seem to shake it and it's done that thing that colds do where it has started settling in my neck.

That hurts... you know.

So um... yeah. Go visit someone over on my blog roll... I'm sure they have something good to say okay...

because I love you guys...

I was going to do a vlog for you all today (and partly because my faithful doppelganger mentioned it in a comment) but I can't.

I just can't do it.

I tried to do it but I was so broke down the camera battery died.

I think that was for the best.

You see, I think you have a certain image of me. An idea of who I am.

And I think (and by think I mean I HOPE OH PLEASE DEAR PEOPLE) that your image of me does not include me sounding like there is a combination of sandpaper and gack in my throat.

I'm also kind of hoping that you don't see me (in your mind's very acute eye) with my face all puffy and swollen from a horrible cold like occurrence.

Am I right?

Lets just say for the sake of my ego that I'm right.

I like to think of myself as the shiny black haired tattooed maven of this blog...

A blog maven wouldn't allow all of you to see... nay, force all of you to be subjected to, that kind of horror.

Would she? I think not. I know not.

I am after all the blog maven over here at mommified me.

As an olive branch. A gesture of peace love and horror I will try to come up with some Halloween related fun for all of you to enjoy.

When the hacking is done.

and the coughing.

and the deep deep need to sleep for 12 hours a day...

Okay, so that last one will never really go away... I love sleeping as much as I like a nice pair of jeans and a tight tank top. As much as the Autumn leaves crunching under my feet. As much as I love a fresh cold bubbly cherry coke in a little cup...

But this was supposed to be about you guys, and how I love you all too much to disillusion you and show you the horror that is CamiKaos recovering from a cold... only Mr. Kaos and my mother are capable of still loving me in this state.

xoxo

what makes margie so much fun?

Who knew there was a proper way to plan a party?


I may have been doing it wrong all these years... apparently I needed to go to the library.

the green pill makes me sleepy

It's gotten to that point.

I have to be really sick to take cold medicine.

REALLY.

sick.

So last night my darling man brought home soup and orange soda and squirt and NYQUIL.

I have put myself under quarantine. I am not leaving the house. My darling Mr. Kaos volunteered to cancel band practice last night to take care of me. I only protested once before I saw the error of my insanity and said "yes" and "please" and "thank you so much".

After arriving home with my chicken Pho and seeing me he immediately held his breath in my general area.... I am carrying the plague... I am sure of it. I must look awful because he offered to work from home to deal with the child today too.

Why am I up now? The NYQUIL wears off you know. The last time I took it was at 9 last night. I am torn between taking it now and sleeping through the day or suffering this hacking coughing nightmare...

And when I say "torn" I should say "waiting for my kid to go to school so I can render myself unconscious"

the germ factory, again

Step right up, don't be shy. Send them on in!

Runny nose, nasty cough, puked last night? Eh, we don't mind we like them all... one rotten apple to spoil the bunch? Nonsense!

Kid has the shits? By all means bring them in. The other kids don't mind, they'll play and dance and even share snacks with your sick little monster that roams the halls touching every doorknob with their snot encrusted fingers.... fingers that they pressed into their crusty noses, popped into their tiny mouths and that they quite probably forgot to wash after they used the the toilet.

The kids don't mind.

The school doesn't mind.

Who cares, after all what is school for, it's a germ factory right?

(sorry, this is what you get when you subject me to too many days helping at school, I get sick from of or 20 of the kids at school and then I get really really... well... like me).

e-cat is sick...

K has a little striped orange cat with humongous green eyes. It's stuffed. That is to say it is a stuffed animal made of fabric, fill and beads. Not one that has been taxidermied. I know some people enjoy the fine art of dead stuffed things, I know am not one of those people...

So her little striped cat, E-Cat, is sick.

This can really mean only on thing. K isn't feeling well. At all.

Which is coinciding nicely with my aching chest and sore throat.

She sounds a lot like I do, E-Cat that is. If K is sick, E-Cat is sick. If E-Cat is sick, the house is not right.

But I personally couldn't be more please with the timing. You see this cold, this bad bad horrid summer cold that seems to have attacked me, Mr. Kaos, K and of course E cat has come at the perfect moment. We should be all well and recovered by the time we...

You've got it, that's right,

Leave on vacation.

CamiKaos and her fabulous one track mind everyone.


Oh, sorry I had to take a break there for a giant sneeze fest.

Now I have to take another to go take care of E-Cat, and I guess I should check in on K too.

sleepy sleepless sleepit...

It is ten til nine... I write the words because I feel too dirty and can not face them as numerals... suddenly I am not tired... WHY? My best guess, K just fell asleep and I am free to sleep but suddenly with her snoozing away (and no coughing people, no coughing) I am also free to do other things... What? I don't even know! I could fold laundry or clean something or watch tv or read a book or talk to Mr.... hmmm tv sounds good. talking sounds good. Girl scout cookies sound good too. Please oh please oh please... let me show some form of sleep related will power. I have passed the phase of exhaustion that makes me want to sleep and reached the part where I get hysterical. Insane and maniacal laughter starts to issue forth.

This is sometimes a problem with me, the maniacal laughter.

I remember this one time in particular when I was in high school a bunch of us were over at my friend Chad's house (hi chaddy!!!) late one night playing D&D (yes D&D I did A LOT of that). It was late. It was too late. It was so late that even though no one had been smoking anything at all we were all suffering from munchies so severe we would do ANYTHING to appease our appetites (short of internal organs or cannibalism I assume). I ate a bowl of whipped cream and chocolate syrup (and not in the sexy way). Chad made some gross egg and soup related concoction that he apparently made ALL THE TIME but had never made in front of me.

Then the sugar and the egg and the ridiculous boys made me laugh. and then I laughed some more. a lot more. hysterically and I wound up under the table laughing so hard I hit my head and it hurt and that was so funny to me that, you guessed it, I laughed and laughed some more.

NO DRUGS WERE CONSUMED THAT EVENING (at least not by me or Chad, I can't vouch for all the others, but I am pretty sure...)

I laughed and laughed and laughed until they called the night over on account of my laughing... My stomach hurt for a week.

Why was I so tired? Probably because I had been out until an ungodly hour sneaking around with my boyfriend every night that week. Climbing out of windows and over fences to escape the fortress of parentude (I am sooooooo locking K in a tower Rapunzel style, she will have to work to sneak out damn it).

My point in all this is that every little thing seems soooo funny and I can feel it coming, the hysterical laughter with tummy pains. It is the best ab workout on earth people... and you only have to go a week without sleep to get it!!!

Goodnight?

this sleep thing will be the end of me...

So dramatic, I know. Cami, shut up already about daylight savings time, I know. It is drawing all the energy out of me. I haven't been able to GET to sleep at a normal time, but I still have to wake up just as early. Then there is the coughing. OH THE COUGHING. Please coughing stop... While I lay there still awake trying to will myself to reset like my clock I hear poor little K's coughing, which is better than it was but still enough to drive me into a worry spiral that further prevents the sweet release of sleep.

Have I ever mentioned that I love sleeping? I know many people only sleep because they have to. Not me. I sleep because it is SO wonderful. I love sleep. I have always loved it. When I was a little girl K's age I would come home from school and take a nap. I big lovely nap. Everyday my mom would come in to wake me up and I would be the biggest grump ON THE PLANET because I wanted to sleep some more.

I slept in. I slept and slept. Not because I was depressed or unhappy, because I love to sleep. I have fantastic dreams, vibrant vivid dreams that I relish and delve into and remember.

Funny thing about not sleeping. When I don't sleep I don't get to dream. I miss dreaming. I miss sleeping.

I have walked through today like a zombie barely making it through the tasks I have set before me. And believe me people, there is so much before me to do. I haven't been able to concentrate. Caffeine isn't helping. I can't remember anything. I am messed up from lack of quality sleep. When I finally did fall asleep I swear I woke up every 30 minutes. I need sleep!

Tonight my goal is to sleep. In bed. By 10 pm. Not watching a movie. Not staying up to see the Daily Show. Sleep.

SLEEP!

sleeeeeeep...

(please)

mama me...

Today I am mama Kaos with the sick baby. Yes she is very nearly 5 years old but if you have a kid (or a spouse) I am sure you know that when they are sick they are your baby (or a baby) all over again. As I am writing to all you good folks out there in Internet land she lays next to me in her bug pj's with her alarmingly long clean smelling hair watching cartoons... she just asked if it is time for school... my reply: "baby you have a fever, and a cough, you had to take cough medicine". Her reply: "Oh"

She doesn't have the fight in her today. You can see there will be no cracker smack down.

Today is such a stark contrast to yesterday, yesterday when I was a horribly boring mama who had not an ounce of fun in her. Today I am love. Yes. It's what she told me

"Mama, you are home, you are so much love COUGH COUGH"

Sadly I am also in for a long long day. Tomorrow Nana arrives, but before she is here to take some of this heavy heavy weight off my shoulders for a couple of weeks I have to get through today and today, today is tough.

Today is Great Grandma's Birthday
Today we are worried about Uncle D
Today is a sick day for K
Today we're supposed to have family dinner
Today I will get Nana's room ready
Today that cough is worrisome
Today my man seems stressed
Today there is so much to do

Today is a day I need to get started.

a very kaos birthday...

March 7th

5:30 pm: Mr Kaos gets home and whisks K away for a whirlwind of shopping that I am clueless about

6:00 pm: My friend T arrives... I am already on the front porch before she is out of her car... we wander the neighborhood a little... I'm like an ill behaved puppy because I get to go out on a weeknight.

6:20 pm: We arrive at my favorite bar/ restaurant in the neighborhood for drinks and dinner. We're greeted by the super friendly tall host busboy guy... I think his name is A. Hooray. We've arrived. He shows us to our table where I see one of my very very favorite waitresses ever, R. We promptly order drinks.

6:30 pm: Commence drinking. My phone rings. I can hear it and am oh so irritated by the noise but I can't find it.

7:00 pm: We order food. Good food. big food. A story about skiing occurs. A horror story. I decide I never want to go skiing.

My time line for last night gets fuzzy here... so much talking good company good food. Good time. I find out that R's husband's birthday is the 8th as well. I have never met anyone with my birthday before and I am thrilled. I know what he's getting for his birthday... he's gonna be happy! It is terribly quiet in the restaurant and T and I try to lob our obscenities quietly at the wall. R had no other tables, or was getting off work so the 3 of us have a lovely chat about music, men and bigots. My phone rings again, though much more quietly since I eventually did find it and turn it down. I see the time... it's about 8:30... it's Mr. Kaos on the phone. I think to myself, oh that's great, K is only getting to bed 30 minutes late and answer. I hear car noises. Yes car noises. They're kind of heading home, but do I have the phone number for the Chinese Takeout place? Yes, I do. I offer to call in the order for them and then continue the drinking... but it is time to get home.

9:00 pm ish: T and I meander home blah blah hahaaahaaa heeheee. Good times. We get home shortly after Mr. Kaos and K and find them in bed eating Chinese Food and watching Educational TV.

9:30 pm ish: T is sober and ready to go, she leaves. Bye T. Thank you. So fun. Happy day.

10:00 pm: K is finally asleep. I head into the living room to see Mr. Kaos putting together his bran new telescope. My life seems a little surreal.

March 8th

12:07 am: Mr. Kaos says happy birthday... I decide I really need to sleep.

1:30 am ish: I actually fall asleep

insert sleeping here

5:45 am: Mr. Kaos is up getting ready for a big meeting that has been rescheduled too many times... I hear the coffee making... I hear morning noises... shuffling about and I fade back into sleep.

6:45 am: Mr. says I can't wait til you wake up today. I ask if I have to get up but he says no...Bye bye Mr. have a nice day at work. more sleep

7:00 am ish: I can't sleep. The child is sleeping. I don't want to get up so I check the TiVo. It knows I need something to do, it recorded America's Next Top Model. I don't want to watch this show but I do. Oh, crap TV at it's crappiest...

7:35 am: ANTM is over (love the TiVo). I can't take it anymore I wake up the child. I ask for snuggles. She doesn't actually snuggle me but she scoots into me so I can snuggle her. So I poke her on the shoulder a few times... wakey wakey little one. she did. eventually. She told me happy birthday and dragged me out to the dining room to show me the the fabulous decorations hanging from the fan and sitting at the table. hehee...

7:45 am: Why is K coughing like that? Why does she have a runny nose? Why does she sound more like a 60 year old jazz singer who smoked two packs a day since she was 14 and less like a 5 year old girl? Because she is my daughter and she must be sick on my birthday.

8:00 am: Convince K it will be more fun to stay home with me. Promise her that as long as she doesn't have a fever we will still all go out to lunch when daddy Kaos gets home and that yes yes her babysitter can still come play with her this evening... Call the school. Call my mommy.

8:11 am: Hee hee. I'm 30.

8:23 am: breakfast is done. I am so sleepy. I can't wait until Mr. Kaos comes home...

wake up call...

you know what sucks. the flu sucks that's what.

After fighting off a cold and pretending it didn't exist all week i wound up. sick. let me restate that SICK.

I'm feeling a bit better today... but yesterday was scrapped.

monkey doesn't feel well... monkey needs to rest...

K stepped quietly almost solemnly out of her school today...

K: Mama, can we go home and rest now?

M: What's that sweetie?

K: Can we go home and rest and snuggle in your bed?

M: I heard you the first time... I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going crazy...

K: You're crazy mama, but I still want to go home and lie down.

Oh shit. You know what that means don't you? My child, hooting, hollering, balloon rodeo having, sugar craving, world bouncing K wants to go home and lie down? I stopped right there and checked her forehead... hmmm..... a tiny weensy bit warm... not a fever though... just flushed.

We wandered home, well we didn't wander so much as trekked straight to the house through the wind and rain and as soon as we got to the door and said good bye to her friends she started pulling off her boots and asking for help. Boots were stuck... not a good sign.

She asked if she could go lie down...

M: Aren't you hungry?

K: Can I have a pushup pop?

M: No, you haven't eaten your lunch... do you want your lunch? you can have a picnic on my bed.

K: No, no thanks.

I checked the forehead again... Hot. nope, that wasn't flushed earlier, that was the 20 minute on-ramp to fever city.

We got her pillow, her blanket and her cat. She rested, quietly, calmly... I gave her a sippy cup of juice (sippy cups are a big deal around here, we don't go handing out the sippy cups willy nilly, they're serious business). I handed her some goldfish crackers and then there she was, laying there, quietly... munching a couple of little fishies... taking no delight in biting off their tails or heads... She drank the juice... quiet quiet fever time.

I made some calls. Cancelled some appointments I had... quiet quiet fever time... poor girl.

Then from my bedroom a sick little wheeze, a call for aid

K: Oh no, my show... it's over....

M: Can I put on another? You want Charlie & Lola?

K: Yeah, what's it called?

M: Something about a dog.

K: Oh man I've been watching TV about people's pets ALL DAY.

M: You've only watched one show baby...

K: I know, it's a figure of speech.

Away I went again, taking most of the gold fish with me... she didn't want to eat them...

Moments later while trying to secure some lunch for myself I hear the unmistakable sound of fun. Illegal fun. Fun that has been banned in my house. Curse the fun we'll have none of that... She smuggled in contraband... a balloon from yesterday and was jumping on my bed and squeaking it.... oh no not the balloon squeaking... it is inhumane... I can't handle it. It has to stop... How can I make it stop.

M: May I have the balloon? You need to rest and balloons don't belong in my room.

K: No. I'm using it

at this point she attempted to hide the balloon under her little body and laughed like a tiny evil genius.

K: It's mine

M: That's fine. You can give it to me or I can pop it.

Did that really come out of my mouth? Oh my lord what kind of an evil dictator am I??? But she handed me the balloon with a mix of caution and humor... she didn't want to find out if I meant it...

There was a renewed bought of laughter. I checked the fever... Yep, still there (it had been only 30 minutes and she has taken no medicine so of course it was there, but I needed to make sure I hadn't made a mistake). It's time to call for reinforcements... bring in the sock monkey...

M: K, honey I think Monkey is sick... he needs to rest but he doesn't want to... can you help him?

Let me tell you, this works... it may not be nice to make that poor sock monkey share the illness but it did get her to settle down... Now if only I could make the sock monkey eat we may have something...

soup is good food

I've slept, thrown up and watched TV all day... I've been unaware of my daughter at times (like when i fell asleep while she watched The Incredibles and woke up hours later with no idea where she was) and super sensitive to her every move (mommy is sick please do not touch the Kleenex it is too loud)... When dinner time rolled around and I was finally ready to try some food again I sent mike and K to the store. Nothing sounded good so I made a list of all the things my mother gave me when I was sick as a kid plus a few of my current faves including but not limited to that Lipton chicken noodle soup that is like napalm it is so hot when it's ready, cherry coke, 3 kinds of jello and sherbet. He took the self proclaimed "robot monkey" with him to the store and suffered the looks of disbelief as she bounced all over the store on a tootsie roll induced sugar high and brought back all my goodies... I want none of it. I had some soup... I wait now for a scooby doo sherbet push-up while Mike & K play music in an attempt to sooth me, K by playing music I am bound to love and Mike by keeping K out of my hair...

now I have my sherbet push-up and push-up is good food