puppy love...

I would like to say first and foremost to Mr. Kaos if he is reading this: I know we aren't going to get one. Honey don't worry, you won't come home to find one. I DO know how crazy and busy things are and that another living being is the very last thing that we need right now... However honey, I can not promise that my love and need for something to take care of won't drive me to talking to myself (more than normal) or dismantling bathroom parts (which I may or may not have already dismantled because I am being driven crazy by them).

Moving on shall we?

I think it was about this time last year that I got it in my head that I desperately needed a puppy. Lets just say that my darling and very practical husband did not share this same vision.

(don't tell him I said this, but about this stuff, he is often smarter than I am)

So today I did something stupid.

STUPID.

I went up to the website for the Oregon Humane Society and looked at puppies.

Stupid I know.

I would show you the picture of the puppy I found and fell in love with but then I would be forced to look into his big soft pouty puppy eyes... I can't do that. I need to get a parental control program and block any sites that may have pictures of puppies...

that's right. NO PUPPY PICTURES.

But then, then I did something smart... I went back and read the post I wrote last year when I came to terms with the fact that we were not yet ready for a puppy and saw that things in my household are not any different now... so the puppy having...

it will be shelved once again.

but I swear I'm gonna go rip out a sink or something.

valentine vertigo...

For Valentine's day my gift to you is the top 10 things I like on Valentine's day in no particular order:

1) Sleep late. Sleep long. Sleep hard. (This didn't happen today, I had to get up and take K to school... what kind of a world do I live in? oh the horror...)

2) Drink Cherry Coke. (I have also yet to do this. Why? My Cherry Coke stash is in the upstairs fridge. When I am desirous of one and too lazy to go get it myself I send my kid up to get it. But she isn't here. She is at school. Where I had to wake up early to take her. Having a party. She probably smuggled out a 6 pack of cherry coke to give to all her friends so they will be bouncing off the walls like lunatic valentine rockets by the time I pick her up...)

3) Eat Mediterranean food. (wouldn't you know I haven't done this either. Note to Mike: when I said take out I meant go get me everything i need to make those amazing pita dinners i love. When you think you have enough tzatziki get twice as much... then get me some extra cherry coke some sleeping pills and something pretty...)

4) To make my family happy. (only they can say if I have done this, though K and I have plans to make little heart shaped cakes and decorate the house all pretty. when all the work is done I'll throw on some fishnet stockings and a little black dress)

5) World Peace. (had to try man)

6) A puppy (though the one I want isn't ready to come home from the breeder yet, and even if it was I couldn't walk it cause It would pull me over... I don't think you do a lot of dog walking on boats)

7) Perfume. (I can be such a girl)

8) Hot sex. preferably with my husband. (Though I don't in any way reserve this activity for valentines day... i just thought I'd mention it)

9) To finish reading my book. (I read every night when I put K to bed. It is pretty much the only time I have for reading... any time I used to have for reading is taken up by writing this blog every single day then rereading it and laughing at how funny I think I am... I only have 20 pages left in my book and then I have 4 more books to read... I must finish reading my book!)

10) Flowers (like I said I am such a girl at times, but there is nothing like getting a big bunch of your favorite flower to make you feel like a goddess, providing they aren't apology flowers. I love flowers but there are pretty much only three times a year a married gal can expect to get flowers... Valentine's Day, Birthday, Anniversary... if you are a guy and for some reason reading my blog take this down. Yes flowers are cliche. Yes flowers are silly. But yes, women love getting flowers. Yes, they do, even if they say they don't)

happy Valentine's day... I hope I get everything I want... and I hope you're happy too...

but i need it...

This is my sad comment and reply to my own blog of last week "i want i want i want..."

Do I still want that fuzzy cute sweet wet nosed bundle of puppy joy? Yes, yes I do. Have I gotten over my hormone fed desperate need for a new living being to take care of? Pretty much.

Now let me clarify. I do still want a puppy (and the dog that it grows into) I am not that fickle and wanton... but do I want it knowing that at the time it could quite possibly drive my poor dear husband over the cliff of sanity? No, no I am not that crazed.

I am quite certain that a week ago today if you asked me to choose between my husband's peace and harmony and the bright eyed perky eared little pup I had been dreaming of I would have said "Mike's being a baby..." and I would have gone out to get a leash, collar, puppy bed, food bowls and a big ol bag of appropriate puppy feed... Yes. That is me... and it is my family's burden to live with...

Somewhere around Thursday night while I was drifting off to sleep I realized that my puppy need was being accelerated by rampant womanly hormones, the fact that my daughter is turning 5 and becoming very independent and the harsh knowledge that I am not having a another child (which is not new info for me, I have known for quite a while now. At least since my doctor, and then 2 more told me that me+another pregnancy is not the best idea in the world)... Am I reaching into the void of too much information? Quite probably but that's what you get for reading a blog written by someone who calls herself camikaos...

So as I sit in a brief cycle of calm in the swirling world of me and my emotions I am able to briefly reflect on the reality of things. I am a busy stay at home mom with an old house that takes lots of care, lots of technology clutter, books everywhere, music equipment, art supplies and cooking stuff, not to mention toys and 2 cats everywhere I look. We are in a constant battle to hold back the clutter and keep things "neat"... and we have not won the battle, no sir we have not. We haven't lost the battle... we're holding back the troops of messy but not by much... a few lazy days and the tide could turn.

In addition to the everyday little things I have entire rooms to organize, innumerable toys that K no longer uses that should be given to friends with kids or to someone who needs or wants that clutter in their house... we have remodeling still on the horizon and last but not least I value my down time... what little I have.

With that said, if Mike called and said "Hey I just got off the phone with the breeder, when do you want to go pick up the puppy?" my answer would be "right now"

and thus the cycle of cami continues...

i want i want i want...

I want something. I want something so bad it has completely preoccupied my thoughts for a week now... I've wanted this something for years... but the time was never right.

Some would argue that the time is not necessarily right at the moment either but I must have this little something... Okay, it won't always be so little.

A few of you may know what this something is. Am I crazy? No! I always had one growing up... often two.

Since I moved out on my own though this elusive "thing" has been out of the question. Why? You shouldn't keep it in an apartment. Our first house was too small. It's a lot of responsibility. The timing hasn't been right. K was too young.

Now things are different and I for one know the time is right. So how do I convince my dear sweet man, my life partner, the man, that he wants to bring this bundle of something fuzzy and cute that will eventually weigh about 75 pounds into our home and accept it as part of the family?

This isn't a big shocker to him. He knows I want it. I asked for it. I showed him pictures. (I never should have looked at pictures it sealed my fate). The question is how do I convince him this is right? I am open to suggestions but really I think he will have to decide on his own...