blogger detox facility now open

Welcome to the Kaos Valley Detox and Treatment Facility where we can help you clean up your life...

Messy house? No. We can't help you there.

Addicted to smack? Nuh huh. No. There's nothing we can do.

Have a coke problem? Ah now there we can help you... I myself battle with the Cherry devil... it's hard to resist the sweet bubbly goodness flowing down your throat... but here at the Kaos Valley Detox and Treatment Facility we can help you beat it... at least temporarily...

Want to quit smoking those nasty cigarettes? Um... well... yeah I may not be so much help there because while I did quit smoking years ago I'm not sure I know how I did it. My friend though swears by the patch... you could try that?

Have a horrible gambling addiction? I have no idea what to do for you...

But have you been eating too much red meat, cheese, butter, or sugary foods? Drinking a wee to much wine... imbibing a few too many tropical drinks?

There we can help you. Not by sharing with you any mind bending methods of how to give up the goods... but by holding your hand as we detox ourselves from the over consumption insanity that was the month of March.

You see the month of March was one little party after another. From my birthday at the beginning of the month all the way through my friend leaving Monday we had fun fun fun...

Then my daddy took the T-Bird away.

No. I have no T-Bird... Never did. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Maybe I need to add inappropriate quoting of songs to the list of things I need to detox from...

Nah. I don't think I'm willing to give that up for any length of time.

What I am doing though is trying to clean out my system a bit.

Inspired by my lovely Mr. Kaos I'm cutting out the cherry coke, red meat, alcohol, candy and all that other good stuff that I had too much of in the last month...

(but just till I feel like a super hero again)

Oh sweet natural energy... I've been missing you.

for the choconots...

As some of you, I'm sure, are blissfully unaware I signed on to do something...

daring

remarkable

unheard of

brave

amazing

or maybe rather mediocre...

I've joined in with a select group of women who have decided that for the month of January we will not be chocolate's bitch... rather it will be ours.

I thought it would be easy.

"No problem" I thought.

You see while I do quite enjoy a bit of chocolate it isn't like I have some every day or anything.

At all.

I have great chocolate willpower.

You see chocolate is not Cherry Coke.

If it were I would not give it up for a month... thus my willpower is intact

Savvy?

So there I was thinking No problem but then only 1 day into my chocolate free month attempt I went to the movies with my mom and K.

(we saw enchanted... it is a little girl chick flick if ever one was made).

I bought the tickets. My mom bought the treats... and oh were there treats to be had; Popcorn, some chewy sweet sour candy rope for K, sprite, CHERRY COKE, pretzels with nacho cheese sauce... and I thought that was it.

That is plenty right???

Approximately 35 minutes into the movie my mother (who did not know I had joined this group) handed me a box and said "Keep this away from me... they're yours"

I glanced down at the luscious creamy goodness of a box of Jr. Mints right there in my greedy little hand. They glowed from within all creamy and minty and covered in smooth chocolate.


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... I thought, Jr. Mints.

And that's when it happened; I opened the little flap and turned the box on it's end, K saw them from her seat next to me and asked for some... I handed over the four that had landed in my hand and the sweet smell wafted up to me...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... Jr. Mints, I thought again.

Once again I tipped the box into my empty palm and one lone mint landed there in the soft creases. I lifted it to my lips and it was just as it's silky smoothness was close enough to inhale that I realized

OH SHIT THIS IS CHOCOLATE

and I threw it on the floor of the theater....

close call.

close call.

Solidarity fellow choconots...