Tuesday, April 01, 2008

blogger detox facility now open

Welcome to the Kaos Valley Detox and Treatment Facility where we can help you clean up your life...

Messy house? No. We can't help you there.

Addicted to smack? Nuh huh. No. There's nothing we can do.

Have a coke problem? Ah now there we can help you... I myself battle with the Cherry devil... it's hard to resist the sweet bubbly goodness flowing down your throat... but here at the Kaos Valley Detox and Treatment Facility we can help you beat it... at least temporarily...

Want to quit smoking those nasty cigarettes? Um... well... yeah I may not be so much help there because while I did quit smoking years ago I'm not sure I know how I did it. My friend though swears by the patch... you could try that?

Have a horrible gambling addiction? I have no idea what to do for you...

But have you been eating too much red meat, cheese, butter, or sugary foods? Drinking a wee to much wine... imbibing a few too many tropical drinks?

There we can help you. Not by sharing with you any mind bending methods of how to give up the goods... but by holding your hand as we detox ourselves from the over consumption insanity that was the month of March.

You see the month of March was one little party after another. From my birthday at the beginning of the month all the way through my friend leaving Monday we had fun fun fun...

Then my daddy took the T-Bird away.

No. I have no T-Bird... Never did. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Maybe I need to add inappropriate quoting of songs to the list of things I need to detox from...

Nah. I don't think I'm willing to give that up for any length of time.

What I am doing though is trying to clean out my system a bit.

Inspired by my lovely Mr. Kaos I'm cutting out the cherry coke, red meat, alcohol, candy and all that other good stuff that I had too much of in the last month...

(but just till I feel like a super hero again)

Oh sweet natural energy... I've been missing you.

18 comments:

Dan said...

Good luck cutting out the whole coke thing. I tried once and lasted nearly three hours!

Groovy Mom said...

Well it seems the only thing you can help me with is the wee bit too much wine thing, and exactly how are you going to help me with that when it's the one vice I'm not ready to part with? Hmmm?

:-D

Can you help me get my kids to bed so I can read more blogs? Or can you help me fill out that word verification dealie after having a wee bit too much wine?

stephanie said...

I reject moderation, vehemently. I am feast or famine, high or dry (not really, just being hyperbolic, but it sounds so cool).

Best of luck.

Lindy said...

good luck! just take it slow with the cherry coke- I hear it can get pretty ugly with the dt's

holly said...

cami kaos without cherry coke is like a day without sunshine. i just don't get it.

but okay, i support you. how could i not support you?

and now i'm off to listen to episode 007!!!

Denise said...

you are an inspiration, but cheese, I don't know about that.

mielikki said...

giving up the Cherry Coke, you? That really sounds like it could be a very difficult thing. I know how you love the cherry coke.
Everything else, though? You will do fine.
Have fun with that. Mustang Girl and I are going to go get meat and cheese for dinner! :)

CamiKaos said...

Oof... I think I may have given you all the wrong idea... we're only cleaning out our bodies so we can sully them again.

You see ordinarily we eat BEEF once every 4-6 weeks. I am far weaker in the pig department... I eat that about once a weeek... I usually only drink once or twice a week... it was daily in the month of march. I was down to one Cherry Coke a day for months... I escalated to 3 day in March...

So to all of you dear sweet people who thing THE CAMI is giving up THE CHERRY COKE, CHEESE and YUMMY MEAT...

no.

I am just cleaning out my system from far too much. Instead I am enjoying my favorite teas, fruit, veg, rice, soy, fish, chicken, whole grains and brown rice.

Not your standard detox... but it is MY standard detox.

Lisa Milton said...

Sounds like a good detox to me. I give up coffee from time to time and then when I drink it again, I'm not drained and one little cup actually does something for me in a pinch.

Be well cherry coke-free Cami. May the force be with you.

julie said...

Damn. It's the messy house and smack addiction that gets me. Thanks for trying...

Bubblewench said...

Oh good luck! I know how fun this will be for you!

We need to talk Tiki Mugs cause my credit card is BURNING for the website order to be placed... and i'm jealous of your treasures.

Stu said...

I would actually reward myself with more cherry coke, red meat, alcohol, and candy after a hard month.

Good luck, see you on the other side, maybe at Saucebox...

-Stu

angel said...

ooer... detox is never fun i don't think!!!
i have GOT to cut down on the cigarettes... after almost quitting for 4 years i have started smoking ALL! OVER! AGAIN!
it sounds like you had a luvverly time though...

Jo Beaufoix said...

Cami, it just seems so wrong.

But if you need to do it, then do it. We will watch.

NOT join in.

Just watch.

Travis Erwin said...

Inspired by my lovely Mr. Kaos I'm cutting out the cherry coke, red meat, alcohol, candy and all that other good stuff that I had too much of in the last month...

Why don't you just give up living while you are at it?

Kimberly said...

Yay for getting healthy. Will be cheering you on, and even joining in for some bits. Wheeeee!

flutter said...

if I called you spaz, would I seem bitter?

ok ok fine, YAY YOU!! ;p

sybil law said...

Freak.
:)
xoxo