Wednesday, March 26, 2008

tears of insanity and fish

I normally don't talk about "woman troubles" here.

I think that was by design

but some days... some days I just have to say what I need to say.

to get off my chest what is bothering me

be it real or imaginary...

or maybe just intensely amplified.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah... you know what I'm saying.

If you don't suffer from the horrible ill effects of fluctuating hormones messing up your mind.heart.soul then you know someone who does...


Yes. Just fucking say yes before I shiv your ass.

We all on the same page?


Good. Thank you. I was about to start tearing up. Like when I was watching SpongeBob SquarePants earlier with K... and I started to get a little misty.

Or when Mr. Kaos, that evil sonofabitch, told me the house smelled like fish.

(it soooo smells like fish because we cooked some fish that smelled like fish... sucks. But he didn't have to tell me. I already know it smells like fish... I've been febreezing the hell out of everything. I've got the vinegar out and the incense... it's a burning)

What was I saying?

Oh.. yeah. I'm just not right in the head right now.

I can't wait for the next 24ish hours to pass...

maybe I should self medicate?


holly said...

get this woman a painkiller! stat!!!

acceptable retorts to "the house smells like fish"

"YOU smell like fish, fishy mcfishmaster."

"oh really. i thought it smelled of napalm in the morning. i stand f*ing corrected."

"do you wanna know what the house smells like after i shove both a fish and someone's nose up someone's butt!?!?!"

[of course i still love mr. kaos. but sometimes one needs lines.]

Bubblewench said...

oh honey, I am sooooo with you. Scott told me he doesn't want to go to my nieces dance recital and i just started crying.

I want this week to be over too. Oh do I want it O V E R NOW.

OMG. this comment is going to make me cry too! Shit.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh my Bob Cami, I really get this. I've learned over the last year that at a certain time of the month I tend to break into little pieces. My friend has suggested I try some Agnus Castas, so I'm going to get some. Evening Primrose helps me a bit too.
But I hate it though, hate, hate, hate it. I can laugh, cry or scream at stuff for no reason, except the evil hormones. We should ban them.

Ok, 1. Self medicate, either painkillers or vodka or both.

2 Chocolate.

3 Hot bath, good book, and leave me alone for chrissakes.

And if I was there I would give you a big hug, but only if you wanted one. xx

And the fish smell? While Mr Kaos is asleep, glue a bunch of Rosemary under his nose like a nice green moustache. That will cloak the fishy smell till it goes.

mielikki said...

I am right there with you sister/cousin. I have been near tears many times over the last day. Even over my silly cats. And we are having fish for dinner tonight. But then I am going to work so if the house smells like fish it is MM's problem

BeachysCapeCodCupboard said...

Oh my gosh! I can soooo relate to this! And you know what the bad part is for me (and everyone I live with)... I can see it coming, and it's like, "WATCH OUT! TIDAL WAVE!!!" You don't know when it's precisely gonna hit, but when it does, there's no getting out of the way! lol

Thank you for stopping by my blog today and for your nice comment! =)

stu said...

"Agree or get a shiv in your ass" is a good motto on the hormone roller coaster at our house too.

I just keep my head down and look forward to Week One where I am considered sexy (enough), smart, and not a blight on the earth like during Pack My Suitcase week.


denise said...

I so know how you feel and am with you right now. And my children are home on spring break, fighting, non stop. I say self medicate, as a matter of fact I am on my way into the kitchen right now for some self medicate. Thanks for the Idea and the Martini recipe, and bombay should pay you. You convinced me.

julie said...

Me, too. Amazing. Blogland is like the new college dorm...

Travis Erwin said...

Rum cures all ills.

flutter said...

Dude. *hugs*

stephanie said...

If by "self medicate" you mean shake up a bunch of martinis, I say get to it, girl.

And I do love 'shiv' as a verb...

Be well.

CamiKaos said...

stephanie: a martini was exactly what I had in mind when I wrote that... what a pleasant feeling when the cold gin trickles down your throat and then magically warms your tummy. good stuff. and I am much much better now.

flutter: thanks

travis: rum is good. especially with pineapple juice and coconut

julie: it is pretty amazing how that works!

denise: HOORAY! I hope you enjoyed it.

stu: yes I see that Stephanie liked it too.

beachy: I can see it coming too... but I almost can't bring myself to warn them. thanks for coming by!

mie: as Julie said, the internet is the
blogland is like the new college dorm

Jo: I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I read this earlier. Thank you so much for that.

bw: like I said to mie, what Julie said

Holls: "oh really. i thought it smelled of napalm in the morning. i stand f*ing corrected." That was like... just made for me!!!

Lisa Milton said...

I imagine you are all better now, booze or no booze.

(I hate it when I get misty over funky stuff, like Spongebob. Makes me feel kooky.)

Velma said...

I'm so there with you. I am a hormone monster.

sybil law said...

That is the time you need to throw empty glass bottles at a brick wall.
Then drink.
And watch some sappy movie with a friend.
And hot tub it in the tunnel.

angel said...

ooh scary stuff cami- i felt like that just this last week!