Wednesday, February 20, 2008

click.

Gone are the days of the smelly man sitting on a faded couch with one hand down his trousers and one on his remote control as he watches the game or the jiggly breast laden beer ads that advertise on it. Gone are the days of the serious thinker who sits on his futon watching intense and inspired programing on PBS. Gone are the days of male dominated remote control use...

At least in my house.

You see if someone didn't know us very well and they were invited into our home... which never happens because we really don't like people... but say it did. Say Mr. Kaos invited an old friend over who hadn't already been primed for our household activities by the 32 page disclaimer we hand out to all friends and potential friends of the Kaos family...

That person would think we didn't even own a TV. There is no TV in our living room. Not at all. We don't have a family room on the main floor... there is not a single screen in our dining room, kitchen or bathroom.... they would have to peer behind closed doors (which would get them smacked) or venture down to our dark basement before they learned the truth...

We love our television... wait, let me rephrase that... I love our television.

Our primary TV lives on the wall in the bedroom that Mr. Kaos and I share.

It's my TV.

I think he got it for me for Valentines day 2 years ago. Before you romance hounds get all down on Mr. Kaos for the tech purchase instead of pink puffy hearts or life sized bears or chocolate and diamonds I should tell you that... I HATE THAT STUFF.... well... not the chocolate. I love that... but I love my gorgeous flat panel tv even more.

Then for my birthday he got me a TiVo.

That man loves me...

But as I said, they're mine... I'm a TV hog. I remote hoarder. The remote controls (for the TV, the DVD player and the TiVo) all live in a little silver box on my side of the bed. They wait there until I want them. Till I want to turn on my little box of info/ mind numbing. They are... MINE.

On occasion when he's sick or is feeling particularly downtrodden about the fact that his wife owns all the remotes I'll hand them over to Mr. Kaos. It makes him feel slightly better for a few minutes until he realizes that he doesn't love the TV the way I do and that nothing at all is on that he likes to watch except the cranky people yelling about politics or technology... so it isn't long before the remotes are happily back into my soft warm hands.

Oh remotes... how I love you...

***

This post was written in response to David's question on Weekend Wandering; Who REALLY rules the TV remote control in your house?

If you'd like to answer this in a post on your own blog just pop on by his place and let him know.

18 comments:

DaddyKaos said...

If someone would return cable to the TV upstairs there might be at least one man with one hand in his waistband and the other clutching a beverage!

flutter said...

oh how I love TiVo.

david mcmahon said...

Dear Camikaos and Daddykaos,

I need to know: which one is more important to you, Cami - Daddykaos or the TV?

I think I know your answer.

The TV in our house belongs to Mrs Authorblog. I don't even pretend to know how to work it ....

angel said...

i rule the remotes in my house. damien likes to think he does- but i do.

sybil law said...

It depends on what's on and what time it is to decifer who controls the remotes in our house. But really - I don't care. When no one's home (like now) I don't have the tv on at all. I like it. Besides - that's what Tivo is for, right? I watch my shows later.
Also - what is this about your dad not having cable upstairs?! Shame on you people!

daryl e said...

Aha ... a smart thing that little silver box .. I have answered David's question on my blog .. come see ..

Sandi McBride said...

Oh my, did I fall into some sort of coma and start a new blog with a new name and pictures that aren't me but could have been 25 or so years ago? Else how did you get in my boudoir? Are you even now fondling my remote control? Changing my channels and tivoing some odd show like Bones or Medium? Are you????
wow, I'm not the only female remote hoarder after all...I'm so glad...now I can print this out and hang in the guest powder room for all to read while they're otherwise occupied....you go girl!
Sandi

Maria said...

I'm a tv hog too.
We're such dudes.

Stu said...

Great post. I love the disclaimer about visiting your house.

Nobody really rules our remote but my son covets it. He holds it like a security blanket. Even if watching a movie, and will not need it for 2 hours, will clutch it. If I ask him to put down the woobie, he will sheepishly put it down, only to have it in his grasp when I return later...

-Stu

mielikki said...

MM and I have no remote control issues. Its funny. We discussed answering this blog question, but realized my answer would be very boring. Neither one of us control it, we watch mostly the same programs anyhow, and both of us are actually very content snuggled up with a book

Kami said...

I feel very very important indeed. I was invited into the house of Kaos and I stayed for a very long time, was privy to the downstairs TV, the room of K and I glimpsed the open door of the room of C and Mr. K, but I knew better than to peek.

Sadly, I am at the mercy of Susan and the remote.

holly said...

oh yeah girl, you so rock. you rock for those of us out there that don't even know where their husbands keep the remote.

you rock for those of us who have given up suffering through the thirty seconds of one program. click. thirty seconds of the next program. click. okay back to the one we saw earlier. click.

i love that it's on your wall, too. that's awesome. if i watched more tv i'd want to do so with it on the wall.

if i had it my way, *everything* would be on the wall. yes everything. everything. even that. no, not that. yes, that too.

julie said...

TV is my friend. I love it. I'm not afraid to admit it. You, however, are a Remote Queen. That just rocks.

landismom said...

But what do you like to watch?

CamiKaos said...

landismom: oh this is a can of worms best left unopened but...

The Daily Show
Doctor Who
Psych
The McLaughlin Group
Heroes
The Venture Brothers
Lucy Daughter of the Devil
The Office
Secrets of the Dead
Some history mystery show I can't recall the name of

Lately I've started watching Reaper, The Sarah Conner Chronicles, Chuck and I discovered Eureka on Hulu and wonder why on earth it isn't on anymore. That is all for entertainment... if I want the news I read the internet.

Oh and there is one show I will never admit to watching and only Sybil knows what it is and I don't think she'll tell because I would bring her down with me. I'm sure there are more... I love me some TV I just can't think of them all at once... If my daughter wasn't currently watching educational stuff on my TiVo then I would totally look at my season pass function for you.


Julie: I think this (along with Heart) is another very good reason you are so cool.

Holly: Oh yes. The wall is the place to be. even for that. but that other thing... no way girl.

Kami: Yeah, you didn't peek because I am a big scary mofo. Uh huh. that's right. but no really, I hope Susan has TV viewing habits that you can enjoy... but the remote is all about survival of the tv fittest so... you know. fair is fair. ;)

mie: bah. harmony is over rated. I love books though.

Stu: K is a coveter. I can see it in her face. sometimes when she watches curious george and I'm not in the room she'll get the Tivo remote and pause it for no reason... just because it's really the only function she's allowed to use.

maria: we so rock! we should form a club.

sandi: OH NO!!! Am I secretly you and I don't know it? I'd be honored to hang on your powder room wall... well not me but this post.

daryl: yours was a good post... and yes the little box keeps all in its place.

syb: even in your room it depends?

angel: you show him.

David: good for you knowing your place with the clicker... and my dad is probably maybe a little more important than the tv...

flutter: you are such a classy gal you TiVo loving hottie you.

Dad: you know who you need to speak to. It isn't me. I don't control the cables that carry the TV... I only control the remotes that control it.

holly said...

hey girl. when you watch the daily show, realize : that is the *only* show i religiously watch too.

i'll pretend we're watchin' it together. although i'm watching it the day after you. it's about the pretending.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Cami, I love certain things on the TV, but the remotes? The kids have em' downstairs, Mr B has em' upstairs.
The PC though? That's mine.

I might answer this question on my blog because remotes cause much angst and warfare in our house.

Fab post my lovely.

DaddyKaos said...

I don't have any influence with the Dr., you do. I can't make his life miserable, you can.