put the golf club down...

Daddy, put the golf club down and listen for just a minute. It's supposed to get really windy there today anyway. And hot. That can't be good for your game right?

I want to tell you something.

Happy birthday.

Okay, several somethings.

You know me, I'm kind of behind on things. I'm a little late when it comes to cards, or anything at all that has to go through the mail. I'm not too late this year. I bought your card before your actual birthday, and I am mailing it today so it will be there this very week. Not bad eh?

Something else I wanted to tell you, I have no idea what to get you. At all. Mr. Kaos and K, they don't know either. Every item we think of is either a book or something you would have to move. Since we want you to move, and soon, we are hesitant to send you anything that may impede the moving process. So for now, until we think of something better, you are getting our unending love and this space right here on my page for the day. I know. Kind of sucks doesn't it?

While I have you here (you are reading this aren't you?) I'll let you in on a few things you may not know:

1) Even though I was an ass during my teenage years (well pretty much from the time I was 11) and I said a great deal of really stupid things, I loved you. I respected you. I thought you were a pretty good dad.

2) When my friends mentioned how scared they were of you I always laughed. Every time. I never understood what they saw in you that was so harsh, so intimidating. Even though I knew I could make your entire face red with anger and get my ass grounded just walking through a door I knew what a good heart you had. I never understood how anyone could miss that

3) You were a really good father. You still are.

4) I think you're a wonderful Papa. More importantly, K thinks so.

5) I have never in my life been embarrassed by you, though I know you can't say the same for me. Remember the time we went to see The Adams Family in the theater? When the movie was over you couldn't shake how much I looked like Wednesday and you wouldn't walk with me. I remember. I thought it was really funny.

6) Last year when K and I came to visit for Father's day and you took me to that College Baseball World Series game, that day I felt like things couldn't get any better. When we were sitting there in the stands and I took that picture to send to Mr. Kaos on my camera phone, I mostly took it for me, so I would have something to remember that day by, because for me that was the best day of our entire trip. I'm really hoping once you move out here we can have more days like that. Want to go to a Blazers game with me? I'm looking for a good birthday present for you, that wouldn't be bad would it?

7) I think you are the reason I love to write. I know I'm making a horrible accusation here, but I think it's true. I have a hot head and a huge temper and I know that you did too. I never had to see it though and I always wondered what you did with it. I know what I did with it. I wrote with it. When that started to work I did the same thing with every bad feeling that ever came across my plate. I did that for years. It took me a long time but I learned to put the good stuff down on paper too, well... I'm learning. That you don't write often anymore, or that we don't see it, makes me a little sad sometimes because I like having that little window into your heart, and I like having something like that in common with you.

8) Even though I often act like there isn't a thing in my head but stuffing I learned a lot from you. Much to the dismay of many you made me understand that it's okay to be me.

What I'm really trying to say is that I love you daddy, Happy Birthday.

How about we go see a game next time you're in town?