Tuesday, May 15, 2007

how much ventilation does a stove really need...

Instead of whining about my life, my screaming child, my too tight pants or my hair cut I will show you pictures of the next room that will get the Kaos family home improvement touch.









You know in photos it really doesn't seem SOOO bad. But it really is.
The appliances are very nice. I love them. We bought them all when we bought the house because the appliances in the house, well they didn't work. I don't mean they didn't work well. I mean:


The stove did not light.


The fridge did not make cold.


The freezer actually seemed to be warmer than the rest of the house.


The dishwasher was full of rust.


Those new appliances are all very nice. They will stay. The fruit basket by the window, I like that, I think i will keep it. The clock. I love that clock. I want the whole kitchen to go with the clock. And that painting, I made that when we painted the Kitchen in our old house. I want to keep it in the kitchen here to remind me of the first place we lived as a family.


Not convinced of the badness? There are 10 cabinets total in our kitchen. The top cabinets are too shallow for our dinner plates. They had no doors on them when we moved in. The doors were in a pile in the basement. I assume they had no doors on them to draw attention away from the fact that they were too shallow to put dinner plates in. We had to buy all new handles for them. There are no cabinets near our fridge. Why? The soffit comes down do far that there is no room for any.


There are 7 drawers. Only 3 of them are deep enough to hold a stack of thin dishtowels. None of them are wide enough for one of those nice mesh silverware dividers. They all splinter. They are cracked. One of them won't open all the way because the front of one of the other drawers blocks it.
Both windows were painted shut. Now only one of them is. The other has a hole punched in it from the knife Mr. Kaos was using to try to scrape the paint so we could open it. It kind of opens now. It sucks

The floor? We put it in the day we moved in to cover the gouged out nasty green linoleum. It needs to be replaced though.
Ventilation? Oh no, there's no ventilation. Whoever heard of an exhaust fan in a kitchen. That would just be silly.

The counter top is old avocado green paisley formica. It is scratched, cut, chipped, broken and stained, but it would be ugly even if it was brand spankin new.


So the kitchen? It's gonna go. Down to the studs. WOOOOO HOOOO!

But not until later. Not until the bathroom is done.

Oh, and anyone curious about what tipped the scale, what set it over the edge? You all helped of course with your kitchen chants, but what did it was...

My mom said so.

5 comments:

Daveman said...

I agree with your mom. KAPTAIN KAOS! Duty calls!!!
It has so been decreed.., hurry man! Hurry! ;-)

sybil law said...

Also keep the cat food bowls. They match the appliances.
The rest can go. :)
Come on, already, Cockmaster! Gits to remodelin'!
(Overall, though, the kitchen is cute. But still needs to go. I like the green paint.Ssshhhh - I am keeping that on the down low so Mr Cockmaster won't have any reason not to start immediately.)
I go drink martinis now.

Chadness said...

I sincerely appreciate the wise placement of the fire extinguisher. In fact, that extingisher may be a little bit too close for comfort to the actual probable fire source. Just my $0.02.

It is definately time for some Cockmaster Kaos in that kitchen.

Bubblewench said...

Mother knows best.. I did laugh my butt off when I read her original comment...

CamiKaos said...

Chadness: That is an excellent point. You should come up here and show us where to put it... and have a drink.