Thursday, September 25, 2008

on the tooth fairy...

In the past two weeks we have become authorities on the whimsical little gal that flits and flies from house to house collecting the fallen teeth of children.


We have more knowledge, more education, more factual tooth fairy information than we could have ever hoped for.

The education, it all comes from our lovely 6 year old child who has at last count lost 2 teeth (though we expect wiggly tooth number three to come on down with in the next couple weeks as well... hell at the rate her teeth are going she'll be back on baby food in no time).

K knows things. She knows things about all kinds of things and she loves to tell you.

For instance, she is incredibly fond of pointing out that a tomato is in fact a fruit not a vegetable as the food industry would lead us to think. The platypus is a mammal despite the fact that it lays eggs. You should never drink salt water, even if you're really really realllllly thirsty.

These things are all true and she tells me these facts every day even though I'm the one that told her all of that in the first place. She also tells Dr. Normal. I'm pretty sure she's shared that information with my mom & dad, her aunt & uncle, missburrows and everyone else she's ever spoken to for more than 67 seconds...

But it was a great surprise to me the other day when she started naming off some lesser known pieces of information about the tooth fairy. She started thinking very hard about tooth fairy truths after one of her tooth fairy expectations was not met.


One of her expectations of the tooth fairy wasn't met???? Surely not! How can this be?

"What happened that you thought was off?" I asked her.

"She took the envelope" K replied.

I know I should have nodded and smiled and walked it off... but I didn't. It engaged her, I may have even baited her a little thinking that my own tooth fairy knowledge was greater than hers. I am after all 31 years old have lost not only all of my baby teeth but my wisdom teeth as well...

"Of course she took the envelope" I said "you put the tooth in it silly, what did you expect her to do OPEN IT?"

"Yes. She was supposed to take my tooth out of the envelope and put it in her sack with all the other teeth... it makes it easier later"

She may have added a barely audible "Duh" on the end of that, but I like to think she doesn't think I'm so stupid that I deserve a "Duh" so I think we'll leave that out.

K then imparted to me the tale of the tooth fairy how she wanders far and wide collecting teeth from all over the world and placing them in her little bag of teeth. I can only suppose that it's a magical bag because in K's version of things the tooth fairy was not hauling a garbage sack full of pearly whites at the end of her long shift.

"Then" K said excitedly "When she gets back to her place she gets them all cleaned up so she can hand them down."

We were walking while we had this talk so I thought I had misheard her... Hand them down? Surely she didn't say hand them down...

"What?" I asked.

"She has to get them cleaned up so she can get them ready for the new babies mom."

Oh.My.Heck... in a pickle jar. Really? My kid just told me that baby teeth are hand me downs???

Really, she did she totally did. I nodded and smiled and told her how clever that was, I'd never thought of it before and in my book, that makes it clever. By the time we reached home she hadd her story completely justified. Proven. Ever wonder why some kids get cavities so quickly? It's because the kid that had them before them didn't brush enough. Or maybe they didn't floss. Or MAYBE their mom and dad let them have too much candy all the time and lots and lots of juice. Why are some kids born with teeth missing? Because some kid forgot to leave his tooth out for the fairy, or some girl accidentally swallowed her lost tooth in her mashed potatoes... on Thanksgiving... at her grandma's house...

Okay that was me, I swallowed my tooth in my mashed potatoes... but I was just a kid and it was an accident. Really!!! I didn't mean to do it. My big cousin even wrote the tooth fairy a touching note verifying that I did in fact lose a tooth and was not scamming her out of that shiny quarter (thanks Mie)...

My point being, my kid knows more than I do about fairies and what not and no matter what I may have thought in the past I'm totally going to defer to her knowledge in the future.

Before we go I want to leave a couple notes here.

For the kid who got my baby teeth: I'm sorry about all those maraschino cherries I ate after brushing my teeth, but they were really good.

For the kid that gets K's baby teeth: You're welcome... her baby teeth are perfect and full of whimsy, just like the rest of her.


Jo Beaufoix said...

Ahhh Cami I love this. I do believe maybe K got your baby teeth as she is so like her mummy. And they look so cute with the gaps don't they? Soooo cute. :D

Travis Erwin said...

Classic. My son's friend once told me that the tooth fairy comes via train unless you live to far from the tracks then she drives a silver corvette. He had me rolling.

mielikki said...

I'll still vouch for you.
I totally remember that

bellevelma said...

Blech! I won't even share a toothbrush with my husband. I'm aghast thinking my teeth might have once belonged to someone else!

Actually, that's a clever little girl you have there. Cute story!

sybil law said...

So wait - Santa is a no-no but the tooth fairy who hands down teeth is okay?!
It's obvious you people worship Halloween!
And where are pictures of the gap toothed lovely?!

Anonymous said...

That's hilarious. And I can totally relate because my own little miss know-it-all has been coming up with some wild ones lately. Don't know what I'll do when she's K's age!

Lilacspecs said...

This is wonderful, what an imagination she has!

Denise said...

In my house the tooth fairy got assed out. I get the teeth. I pay double what the tooth fairy pays. Some kids are going to be born with NO TEETH! oh well, I'm keeping them.

missburrows said...

Perhaps we have talked too much about how wonderful hand me down clothes are. Hmmm.

I'm surprised she didn't say that the tooth fairy uses Burt's Bees hand sanitizer and Febreeze's the heck out of the teeth. ;)

missburrows said...

also. remind me never to eat mash potatoes at your house.

CamiKaos said...

jo: yes the gaps are so cute! WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE!!

Travis: a silver corvette? Nice

Mie: You are an excellent cousin

bellevelma: I won't share a toothbrush either... Once Dr. Normal used mine by mistake and I threw it out...

Syb: shh... they'll hear you

Julie: I can't even imagine the tales her mind will come up with when she gets older

lilacspecs: she does indeed

Denise: missing teeth builds character?

missburrows: I think we've driven home the point that everything that can be recycled should be...

angel said...

oh my word the kid's a genius!!!

dougcoleman said...

You know what's great about this post? One day your daughter could get to read this story. I would give anything to have my mother's stories about me and my family saved like this. What a wonderful gift, to be able to capture moments like these and have others give their comments. And it will last forever. How cool is that?

I'm sorry I didn't notice before, but you are a great writer and storyteller. Keep up the good work.

Bubblewench said...

that is super freaking cute and adorable..

but whenever I think of tooth fairy, I constantly think of Family Guy and teh dirty dude with the pile of teeth.. I'm cracking up thinking about it!

Anonymous said...

Her story is much better than mine. Once I swore the tooth fairy peed in my bed! Like wouldn't let anyone tell me otherwise and believed it for years!

And my dentist told me that once he was talking to a young girl about losing her teeth. They were talking about the tooth fairy and the girl told him she knew what the tooth fairy looked like. She said she looked like her mom, except naked! Kids!

Jenera said...

I love this! I even told my hubby and he thought it was so cute. It's funny the things our little ones will come up with!

holly said...

ah HA!!!! finally! a sound reason for my teeth being so crappy!

yes! it's not my fault! and that tooth fairy beotch. . . .what did i ever do to her? she gave me a mouth of LOSERS!!!