Tuesday, August 26, 2008

stoned

Once again I lay in the dentist's chair this morning, mouth uncomfortably held open, lips and cheek stuffed with cotton. I was wearing comfy jeans and a hooded sweatshirt with writing on it... I don't know what that writing says. What matters isn't the writing, it's the comfort.

I put on my sunglasses, placed my headphones into my ears, turned on the music as loud as I could and closed my eyes as the doctor placed a mask over my nose and pumped laughing gas into it.

To keep panic from setting in. To stop my fidgeting. To prevent me from making his job more difficult than it has to be.

I am not an easy dental patient.

As I lay there listening to the jagged tone of Tom Waits voice I floated in and out of awareness. I raised my hand to ask the doctor to back off on the laughing gas. I wanted to be calm, at ease... but I still wanted my wits about me. I wanted to be able to think if for some reason thinking might become necessary.

And I did think, the thoughts came in waves crashing over the haze and as each individual idea came to me I pulled it aside and considered it. Many times in the swirling mist of thoughts I said to myself, I should write about that...

Now if only I had written those things down....

13 comments:

belle said...

Shudder. I hate dentists. Actually, that's not true. I like my dentist. I'd just rather see her for a glass of wine than for dental treatment. I have to take Tilly there today. Trying to think calm thoughts ...

Bubblewench said...

i miss that gas...

glad you are getting the stuff taken care of, even though it sucks.

Jason said...

I do that all the time. "I should write about...." and then when I sit down to write it's gone. *sigh*

fairytalesandmargaritas said...

I just get Novacaine! My dentist is holding out on me!

sybil law said...

Next time -pen and paper.
it will be interesting to see what kinda stuff you come up with!

CamiKaos said...

belle: my dentist is truly a nice person and is as kind while working on my teeth as a person can be... but it doesn't change the fact that my mouth hurts still today and I am lighter in the wallet ;)

bw: I'm glad I have the insurance to cover some of it

jason: it's an all to common occurrence I'm afraid.

lori: I don't think it's allowed in some states or may be heavily regulated. I don't think they do it in CA, none of my dentists there did.

Syb: I am laughing so hard at the thought of me trying to write something down while the dentist is working on my teeth... what angle do you think I would have to get the notebook at?

Lisa Milton said...

My hubby shares the dentist adversion. I might need to get his name.

(I'll just tell him the title of this post. It will help.)

Take care.

Kimberly said...

I've only been stoned once during a minor surgical procedure and none of my thoughts were interesting enough to write down.

They were all about the clock on the wall. It was -fascinating-.

julesofdenial said...

It's hard to write things down when your mind is swirling. :) I'm sure it will come back to you later... or at least it won't seem quite as great when you have your wits about you.

Jo Beaufoix said...

God I hate that. We should have some weird compartment in our brains that we can shove stuff in then access it later. Lie a little file that we can click with our minds. Glad you were calm though.

Smilf said...

I hate the dentist and doctor's in general. I always skip the laughing gas and go straight for the Xanax. I'm just being honest. LOL

holly said...

when they put me on morphine when i was in the hospital with queen of hearts i had one million wonderful ideas. and then the morphine wore off and i couldn't remember a danged one. i'm SURE i solved the world's problems. dangit.

angel said...

the knucklehead and i have to go to the dentist soon... and i'm dreading it.