Wednesday, April 16, 2008

how blue can you get?

pretty blue babies... pretty blue.

I'm quite certain most of you are aware of a certain little girl, we'll just call her K, who lives in my house.

How she's umm... mine, and a girl, and little.

You may or may not be aware that her big brown eyes contain more pout than a kennel full of puppies and that her heart holds more empathy than...

than a..

Well she has a lot of feelings is all I'm saying.

She comes by that naturally. I'm a feeler. I've been known, on occasion, to think things through but I generally start in the feeling department.

It's the same with her.

And her feelings, her emotions, they have a long reach... Particularly long for a girl her age. Her memory reaches far and wide and her emotions spiral out even further.

This long memory for emotions is the reason I'm writing this today... Her open heart. Her loving soul.

She's feeling downhearted babies. She's asking to listen to BB King so we know it must be bad.

You see she's experiencing a bit of a break up right now...

Three months after K was born a friend of mine gave birth to a little boy. Lets just call him Boy. As soon as he came home from the hospital Boy and K became friends.

I know I know newborns can't really BE friends, but they can become friends... and these two did. Fast friends. Good friends. Loving. Supportive. Sweet friends.

They saw each other often. Play dates. Birthdays. We would have dinner with his parents. The kids would play. chat. laugh. watch TV. climb all over us. They were good times.

K even had a picture of the two of them in her room, for years.

Yes years.

He was her first friend. For a time her only friend. And she was his.

Until his parents got divorced.

And I tried to keep up with my friend, his mom, but as a little time passed she began doing whatever it was she was doing... after the marriage was dissolved that is.

And again I tried to keep up with her... but alas and alack. dread and frick frack, it was not to be. She moved, she lost a phone, she changed a phone number... meanwhile I did not move. my number did not change.

I remained in one place, here, with my girl.

But we never heard from Boy and his mother. Never knew what they were up to.

A year ago by chance we ran into her at the store and she oohed and awed and hugged and cried and told me she loved me and missed me and so on... It was just a couple of weeks before K's 5th birthday.

I smiled and nodded listen and sighed and then invited Boy to K's party... which K had been begging me to do for weeks. months even.

And she said yes. And she brought him.

And K was happy.

Once we got home with K she recounted her party and the fun she'd had and then she cried because she didn't get to spend enough time with Boy.

But we had plans to get together the next week... They never showed up.

K just turned 6.

She hasn't seen her friend in over a year.

Last month when she made the invite list for her birthday party... her very awesome party... she wanted him on it.

It isn't the first time she's mentioned him in a while... but it was the worst.

She asked me if I could invite Boy, PLEASE. I had to say no.

No. No I can't.

but it wasn't all true.

The truth is...

No, I won't.

I don't know how to get a hold of his mom but I probably could have called his dad at work... I might have been able to get a hold of him.

I might have been able to say, hey, Boy's dad... K really needs to see him.

And you know, he probably would have made that happen but it would have been just for that day.

I felt like I'd be prolonging K's agony. Stretching a friendship past its ends...

And making her cry again and again and again...

Two days ago she saw a little boy that looked a bit like him. She held my hand and sighed, audibly sighed. I miss Boy she said.

At some point her heartache has to end... doesn't it?

16 comments:

stu said...

Heartbreak is hard at 6 or 60.

Much love to K.

-Stu

Martin Wehner said...

So sorry to hear that K is sad.

Give her a hug & kiss from me!

flutter said...

Oh sweet little thing.

xolotl said...

ack, crying real tears, but I think you did right by K

Bubblewench said...

Poor little broken heart. Sorry to hear it turned out that way.

KiKi said...

BB King??? My gawd!
Poor K... I think you did the right thing, though - you're just trying to protect your baby girl.

This is a particularly interesting story to me because yesterday I heard a story on the radio about a man who found his "first love" in kindergarten. They were friends till she moved away in third grade, but they reconnected later in college and wound up getting married. Go figure...

Lilacspecs said...

It sounds like a sad and difficult situation for a girl like your daughter, but it's also an inevitable life lesson that's painful to learn and perhaps best learned young.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh poor little K. But I think you did right Cami. It's so hard when the world gets in and can hurt them. You suddenly realise there is some stuff you can't control and that is so damn painful. Hugs.

sybil law said...

Same thing with Gilda and her friend from preschool. It's hard, but it unfortunately is something they have to learn, because people will move when they're older, too. It sucks.
Sweet K xxxxoooo

denise said...

*snivel* I want to give her a hug and tell her there will be other "boys".

mielikki said...

You totally did the right thing. Hugs to K though because it is a sucky lesson to have to learn at 6

Lisa Milton said...

What a tender heart. I think you did the right thing. Still, it's hard to lose a friend, at any age.

angel said...

good for you mommy cami, looking after your baby girl like that!

holly said...

good lord. i was twice her age before i learned about the heartache of boy-absence.

i kind of want to punch that lady.

and by 'kind of' i mean 'really'.

n said...

Sorry her heart aches still, it is best for all if we just love her and keep on doing what we've been doing. Boy wasn't just her friend, he was like her brother only better. I'm sorry it still hurts, someday it won't be so bad, but the bet is she will always remember. NanaK

The Holmes said...

Poor kid. I can't blame you for just wanting to help her get past it. Here's hoping her heart heals soon.