Saturday, March 29, 2008

in a handbasket...

On Thursday while all of you were busy doing whatever it is you do I was standing on a chair pulling down the makeshift branches of the weeping willow my mother and I made for K's birthday party when I saw a familiar car pull up. I stepped down from the chair to peer out the door and when I confirmed that it was indeed the car of Missburrows I opened the front door a smidgen and climbed back atop the chair to pull down the decorations.

I remarked to myself that she must have made good time on the way to our house because she was early... like 20 minutes early. Woo hoo!! 20 minutes of extra fun!

But as the last of the branches (which were actually green plastic leis strung together to obscure the view through an archway) came down I realized that she was still sitting in her car.

across the street.

waiting.

quietly.

Apparently she didn't think 20 extra minutes of fun was a good idea...

I didn't really care what she thought though so I stood on my front step with my hands on my hips and scowled at her car until she looked up and saw me giving her the death glare I am so accomplished at giving.

And then...

then.... then she LAUGHED at me.

But at least she got out of her car right? I mean... at least she wasn't that horrified by spending a little extra time at the casa de kaos....

Though from this point forward... I can tell you nothing... or at least very little.

Why?

Because what happens in the house of Kaos apparently stays in the house of Kaos...

Why?

Because even though it's conceivable that I have some pretty good dirt on her... it's possible that she could maybe have some information on me that could completely kill my cred as a snarky gal who cares about nothing except her kid, man, tattoos, red lipstick and boots.

And tech toys.

Oh ... and booze.

I wouldn't want that to happen... I wouldn't want you to be disillusioned. To have your idea of me ripped from you. I want you to be able to cling to whatever distorted image of me you may have.

But... I will tell you a little something else... she came bearing gifts. One for me and one for K.

Each of these two gifts... blog worthy... I will share mine with you all today. It ranks right up there with the Prayer Mat she sent Holly.


This post card is an advertisement for a church. Specifically for that church's easter service... what a way to get followers... it's like hell on paper.

Seriously... can you imagine being a skeleton resting there in your shallow grave and having a fricking easter lily growing out of your skull? Not cool man... not cool...

But being the clever gal she is she knew that her recycling bin was not a good enough home for it... so she brought it to me where it can be safe and happy resting among my other skulls... and creepy stuff.

and really... I kind of like it.

That brings us to the present she brought for K... I'm not going to tell you what it is.

I will tell you though that it's so cool that it will cause a series of 52 posts to be posted approximately once a week. That's blog fodder for a year! If K will let me borrow said gift in it's various pieces...

The rest of what went on? I can't tell you.

But even if I did I don't think you'd believe a word of it. Crazy shit can happen when bloggers get together... so crazy man... I never even knew...

17 comments:

Kimberly said...

I'm glad some of the action happened outside...I'd be yawning otherwise. =P

sybil law said...

Did she slip you a ruphy?! A roofie? Some rohypnol (how sad that I only know how to spell the full name?!)? And if she did, can she send me some?
That postcard ROCKS. I love it!!!
It sounds... mysterious.
But we all know you are squishy sweet, like cotton candy... or something squishier... on the inside.
Just crusty like a tart on the outside.
You tart!
Miss Burrows owes me some date rape drugs.

flutter said...

Sybil? honey? It's roophy.

just sayin'

stephanie said...

You sure know how to keep a reader in suspense. I'm totally stoked about an entire conference of women bloggers; crazy shit will be just what the doctor ordered come July...

Anonymous said...

Mr. Kaos says:

The 'Church of the Greatful Dead' ?? WTF??!! I think my comment was: "How was your date with Miss Burrows?... err... what the f*** is this??" CamiKaos: "Miss Burrows brought it to me!" Me: "ahh, OK..?"

Nice post and nice graphic. You had me laughing out loud.

Will you put it on your Treasurelicious? :)

mielikki said...

lol. That Miss Burrows. I want to meet her when I come to Portland.

denise said...

You know, in my experience the most intimidating looking of people are usually the nicest ones ever, but probably not you huh? your super bad and oober mean huh? heh.

missburrows said...

Cami...hmm..that name sounds familiar. But I can't really recall what I did the other day.

Oh, were you there? I guess you didn't make much of an impression. Hmmm.

(Next time, I'm not wearing any mascara!)

And Sybil-Get your darn date rape drugs from someone else. Mine are spoken for.

Travis Erwin said...

You have a collection of skulls? So do I.

stu said...

You need to protect your street/blogging cred but I think you two just sat drinking darjeeling tea, talked about doilies, wall paper, and what was in People magazine this week. We know how to read between the lines, you ain't fooin' us... booze at lunch, who does that? ;)

-Stu

Lindy said...

what a weird postcard.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hmmmm, I reckon you just sat and knitted tea cosies. Do you have tea cosies over there??

Well, even if you don't, I think that's what you did, because if I keep thinking that I won't get jealous. Sighhh.

CamiKaos said...

jo: are you and Holly going to knit tea cozies? I don't know how to knit. I can't do it at all... maybe you can knit a tea cozy for me since that is obviously all you guys will do...

lindy: It is odd but to tell you the truth... I LOVE IT! I think I may frame it and hang it in my office.

stu: No booze was consumed in the making of our day.

Travis: I have a collection of skulls. They aren't real though. My favorite is my new tiki skull bowl.

missb: yes the mascara may have been a bad idea...

denise: I'm SOOOO tough!!!! I'm so hard. I'm an ass kicker... or something... ohhhh look at that cute little kitty!

mie: we've already invited her to the tiki party.. though somewhat unofficially since we haven't picked the date yet.

Mr. Kaos: It was on my Treasures before you even asked as "hell on paper"

stephanie: I am in awe and fear of blogger and I totally need to decide!

flutter: thank you for telling her.

sybil: no,no drugs.

kimberly: we would want to bore you

angel said...

blogger visits are just so much fun!!
i am almost jealous...

holly said...

i can NOT wait to go knit tea cosies with jo. i don't yet have one, so i'm breaking one or more british laws, one of the other laws of course being that i shalt have a british accent.

Bubblewench said...

i read this the other day, had some witty comment and can't remember..

let me konw when you decide about blogher.. i might join you..

SCARY!!!

loveyh said...

Did someone say local blogmeet? Woot!

Can I come? I promise to leave my snark at home...oh, wait, that's what makes me fun. How about I leave the..wait, can't do that either....hmm....

Is the secret that your house looks like one of those Better Homes on the inside? I bet it is..