Friday, December 07, 2007

the mommification of CamiKaos

I don't think I've ever discussed here why I called this blog Mommified Me.

I think I might like to talk about that today if you all have time to sit a spell and listen.

You see this isn't a mommy blog. I don't think it ever was a mommy blog, though it certainly is a blog that belongs to a mommy. So I often wonder if the title is a little misleading to some.

Some who come here looking for another mommy blog to read. Some who see a comment I left somewhere and pop on through to check out the tattooed chick only to see she writes a blog called Mommified Me and then *gulp* RUN AWAY RUN AWAY.

Truthfully when I started this blog I wasn't thinking of any of that. I wasn't thinking of any of you. I was thinking of me.

I started this blog off having told one friend, only one, that I started it. Okay, that isn't true I told two friends... Mr. Kaos knew right away. He was the one that spurred me on.

So I started the blog, for me. So I could write. So I could work thoughts out in my head and have a platform that didn't involve yet more scraps of paper with scribbled thoughts and dreams that would be lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

But I didn't know what to call it and then a phrase that I had been using and toying with for years came to the forefront.

Mommified Me.

I have always struggled to be the truest me, the most honest version of myself, that I could be. I don't want to be someone I'm not, I don't want to be some one's opinion of who I am. I just want to be me. Cami. CamiKaos.

But Cami, well, Cami has been a great many things to a great many people. I can't even start to list what and who I've been. I wouldn't want to.

But one thing became unchanging. Unflinching.

I'm K's mommy. No matter where I am not matter what I am doing I am a mother. Her mother. There isn't a moment of my life where that doesn't come into play in one way or another and I wouldn't change that for the world.

So when I say Mommified Me I am not talking about a woman who is nothing but a mother I am talking about me and how who I am changed once and for all the moment I came to know I had a little person growing inside me.

My life choices all include her. Hell my breakfast lunch and dinner choices include her.

My choices of what tattoos I want bear her in mind.

I consider her in everything and yet I still continue to be me. To be who I am.

I'm still Cami, I'm just a Mommified version of her.

I like it.

21 comments:

Maddy said...

Well thank you so much for that explanation!

A creative personal outlet is essential for mental health in my humble opinion.
Best wishes

This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.

Mr. Fabulous said...

And we love you just the way you are. Mostly.

Gunfighter said...

Well done!

Are you considering more ink? What's next?

(My Mrs just green-lighted my new design! Woo Hoo!)

Deb said...

I completely relate to the wide open experience of entering motherhood as someone whose life choices most often defy convention, and I'm loving reading about your approaches and thoughts.

Lindy said...

Well Cami you've gone and done it again. You've written about something that most of us mommified woman have felt.
Warning compliment to follow... I love your writing style and very very very much enjoy your blog. There have been many a blog I stopped reading because if felt like I was reading someones high school creative writing work. You have yet me make me feel like that and for that my bloggy friend I thank you from the bottom of my bloggy heart.

Lori- Fairytales & Margaritas said...

I completely understand that. Some days I forget about the Lori that wasn't a mom. And sometimes I struggle to be true to myself, but also someone else's mother.

mielikki said...

Well Cami we wouldn't have you any other way, really. . .

Lisa Milton said...

I like how you explained you were becoming unmommified in a recent post, when you were going out with the grown-ups.

I so get what you are saying.

And I like CK in all its forms.

holly said...

that was tooo cool. and informative. i'll admit i wondered, but soon realized it wasn't a typical mommy blog. it was a you blog. and lovable.
gotta go before i go all cheesy. (too late? sorry. i'll try harder.)

oh, and... i do not know the me that was pre-mom. that chick bailed. i do remember that she used to sleep a lot....

Jo Beaufoix said...

Cami, sometimes it's like the Mummy bit means we can be nicer to ourselves a bit too. Does that sound too cheesy? Sorry, didn't want to make you vom, but, I'm more me now I'm a mummy, because the other mes have become more important too. Gaah, I'll stop. It's 2am and I'm rambling. I think you're fab though. x

Lindy said...

Hey I thought I was the only Brit (oh ok so technically I'm not a brit!) that stayed up passed 1 reading blogs! As for vom inducing did you read my earlier comment??!?!

CamiKaos said...

In hopes of not getting all weepy and to quote you guys vom inducing, I am going to just say thank you to all of you. You have no idea how great it feels to me to know that you ladies really "get" this.

Love to you all.

Sincerely. Love.

sybil law said...

Well everyone made ME vomit!
No - of course I am kidding.
Not only are you a mommy but you are an AWESOME mommy!
xoxoxo

Bubblewench said...

pretty cool.

flutter said...

I like her, too. You know it's funny, not being a mom how much I can relate to you. Then I think...no it's not really funny because that's a piece of you and not the whole...it just happens to be your favorite piece :)

julie said...

I think any blog written by a mommy is inherently a "mommy blog." Being a mommy simply changes who you are and that's reflected in what you write. I doesn't, however, mean you're required to write only about poop and playdates.

Travis Erwin said...

I wouldn't worry about the title being misleading. If someone can't stick around long enough to read a few posts to find out what you are really about then it is their loss not yours.

Gunfighter said...

If it makes you feel any better, Cami, I only read your blog because I think you are hot... not because you are a mommy.

(I can hear the comments already!)

CamiKaos said...

gunfighter: obviously you have excellent taste.

Travis: thank you

julie: poop. tee hee

flutter: You rock

bw: thanks

sybil: I think you like to feel like you're going to vom.

The Holmes said...

Well put. It's funny how the wee'uns have a way of reshaping our POV and somehow making us even more ourselves than perhaps we ever were before. Hmmm, parenthood as liberation. I like it.

angel said...

i like it too! it fits and its perfect!
hhmmm...
i have several personas that vie for attention...