the memory of a 6 year old me...

So far it really has been the worst summer vacation ever.

Hot. Muggy. Sweaty.

Some how my brother discovered my secret hedge world and has been trying to infiltrate it with his stupid friend.

They don't belong in my fairyland!

Damnit!

Then there's the situation with the laundry. I mean come on mom, how hard is it to keep my favorite clothes clean. I couldn't find my lavender shirt ANYWHERE and all my favorite shorts? Disappeared.

Not to mention the whispering. What the hell is with all the whispering. I don't even whisper as much as my mom and dad. What are they be talking about? What are they doing in there?

Never mind I so don't want to know.

I just want another ice pop, or some damn ice cream. I have rights you know.

And what is with this going to bed early crap. It's summer. It isn't even dark outside and it isn't like it's a school night. Hello. SUMMER.



Yep, that was so me at 6. I was kind of a little jerk. But I think most people can look back on their childhood and recognize some undesirable traits they may have displayed. Like being a shit-head.

The thing that makes that memory stand out wasn't what a jerk I was, it was what happened next. What happened after I fell asleep that night. My parents and my brother went to bed early too. Despite my best efforts I dozed off. It was hot and I had been playing hard all day.

Suddenly though I found myself upside down and barefoot in my nightgown.

WHAT THE HELL!

I was being carried over some one's shoulder and their shoulder blade was pressing uncomfortably into my stomach. I went to scream but just as I started to make a sound my father's voice hushed me. I saw the station wagon waiting in the driveway, my mother and sleepy brother already inside, full of suitcases and pillows.

Okay, seriously, what the hell was happening? Was I being kidnapped by my own parents in the dark of morning?

I actually asked.

They said no.

I asked where we were going.

They said they weren't telling.

So my brother got all puffed up and asked.

They said they weren't telling.

We both hemmed and hawed and pouted a little, where are the dogs, what's going on, blah blah blah.

They told us we had a long trip ahead of us and maybe we should just get to sleep.

Sleep??? In the midst of this excitement!! No -- yawn -- freaking -- yawn -- way -- snooooooooze.

We woke up a couple of hours later just as the sun was rising and we pulled into the Denny's parking lot. Mom gave us some clothes to throw on (we were still in our jammies after all) and we wandered inside to use the bathroom and grab breakfast.

I have no idea what we ate. No clue at all. It must have been breakfast food but other than that I have no memory of any food being in front of me. All I remember were the questions on top of questions.

If we play 20 questions will you tell us???

Maybe.

Yet somehow before we were back on the road my brother and I managed to figure out where we were heading. Mom and dad never confirmed it but from their sly energetic smiles we were able to ascertain the truth of the situation...

We weren't moving, running from the law, being kidnapped or heading to Mexico. We were on our way to Disneyland.

It wasn't the first time we went but it was the first time I was old enough to remember and appreciate it. Actually I don't know how much of it I remember. I remember the trip. I remember a few rides and I remember that late night parade seeing the whole park light up with fireworks.

And I remember that for a few days my whole family was really excited, really happy, really tired, and really united.

Yes, Disneyland is a commercial monster. Yes, it will be crowded and brimming with all manner of man and beast. Yes, the Disney company does all it can to warp the minds of our children, but you know what??? It's still the freakin happiest place on earth.

Or at least the happiest place in California.