Friday, June 08, 2007

how to clean a kitchen...

I have a lot to do today.

You can tell by the fact that I am sitting in bed wearing pants. Normally if I blog in bed I do so in my undies and a tank top because I know I have nowhere to hurry off to.

So it is remarkable that I'm wearing pants.

Often I will write at the dining table. When I write there I wear my pants. I have lovely neighbors that don't want to see me running around pants-less. And to be honest anyone that might be peeking in the window that would want to see me with my pants down... they aren't really my type.

My point was that I have stuff to do today and you can tell from my apparel. Not that I would ever leave the house in what I am wearing. I wouldn't. I am wearing yoga pants... and I have no yoga class to go to.

(What is the need to go places in workout clothes if you aren't going to work out?)

Where were we going?

My kitchen?

Yes the kitchen.

Is this where you are all expecting me to say "We ripped the kitchen down to the studs over a pitcher of sangria last night"?

I'm not going to say that because it is SO not true. We would never drink sangria and rip stuff up. And no ripping occurred. I have a touch of flu. (Am I the only one that will watch the dumbest stuff when I have the flu? Do you know what I watched last night? I can't even bare to tell you... it is too awful).

To sum up we did not rip out the kitchen. I am wearing pants. I do have a lot to do today. But I don't have to clean the kitchen because I did my part.

Because Mr. Kaos is working from home I bring you the CamiKaos Friday tutorial on how to clean the kitchen

Step One: Tell your child "I'm going to go clean the kitchen". Head downstairs leaving the child watching television to discover your handsome spouse unloading the dishwasher. (is it just my spouse or does your spouse look more attractive when they are cleaning something too?)

Step Two: Tell spouse "I was just coming down to do that, want me to take over?" Hear the love when your spouse says "No, I'm almost done... but if you want you can load the dishwasher and then I'll come back and wash the pots and pans".

Step Three: Think to yourself, "That's one hell of a man".

Step Four: Load the dishwasher. Daydream about the spouse. Because you are feeling extra lovey (and not too much like you are going to throw up) clean the counters and the sink too.

Step Five: Help your kid make a birthday card for her Opa.

Step Six: Wear pants and post your daily blog while your spouse washes pots and pans.

and behold... the kitchen is clean.

DISCLAIMER: If your spouse is not home or you are lacking one I would not recommend this method. You may find yourself loading dirty dishes into a clean dishwasher and the pots and pans could very well sit there until you find someone who would want to be your spouse... but seeing the dishes piled up may sicken them and they could run away. As a matter of fact I don't know that I would recommend this method even if you have a spouse... I'm not sure about the dynamics in your household.. or about the attractiveness of your spouse. Or if your child has an Opa. Or if you have a child. Please disregard all information contained in this post, except the part when I said I was busy today, and the part where I said I was wearing pants. thank you that is all.

Oh, and I watched the Dukes of Hazzard TV reunion movie. I am so sorry.

8 comments:

mielikki said...

I can read small print! And any comment I might have made on how to clean a kitchen flew out of my head faster than the General Lee takes a curve! Screeeeeeech!

julie said...

The Dukes?! Oh, no!

Daveman said...

One of the joys of being single is not having anyone to have you do something.
One of the worst things about being single is NOT having someone to have you do something.
Procrastination should be a sin. Or not. I'll let you know tomorrow.

sybil law said...

Are you sure Boss Hogg isn't up to anything, like putting silly stuff in hubby's drink that makes him want to clean?!
Anyway, hope your flu is nearly gone. Yuck.

flutter said...

Oh my god!!! You should be sorry! Here I was, all warm and placated by the world's most comprehensive disclaimer, when you hit me upside the noggin with the Dukes. Ugh, booze must be had.

CamiKaos said...

I am so so sorry.

I am also so so sick.

Why do I feel so crappy? I'm supposed to have a hair appointment tomorrow. I'm supposed to have a babysitter tomorrow. I'm supposed to have sushi tomorrow... and now I'm surfing for bad bad tv and trying to will myself to sleep.

reevesfarm said...

Oh NOTHING is hotter than watching hubby clean...anything...

Bubblewench said...

mine did dishes twice today because of my cast...very sexy!!

i'd probably watch that if I was sick - Just some good ole boys...