watching my daughter learn and grow is like a remarkable commentary on life and it's many phases... she never fails to make me think, imagine, wonder, remember...
What she's got me thinking about today is a subject I have gently bumped, rubbed up against, poked at... friends.
When you're a kid friends are huge. What would you do with out your friends? Or for those sad kids that don't have friends what do you do with out them? As a teen friends are still important... but you also start to focus in on that other poking prodding hormonal relationship surge... At that point the object of your affection, obsession can become all encompassing and I think it is a starter phase for years later when you are married with a kid or a dog, or perhaps a parrot and at some point your friends start to slip down rung by rung on your list of priorities and soon you don't see them for a few weeks at a time, but that's okay because you make sure to call them or send them an e-mail... After a while the phone calls become less frequent but you still make sure to send them an e-mail every now and then... What comes next is just well... e-mail humor spam... mass mailings of pictures of your baby's ass... the yearly Christmas letter... it's not a pretty sight.
How did those people, those most important people fall into the trash bin? A better question might be when did I fall in the trash bin? With all my friends fading into the ether I found an important piece of knowledge nudging at the corner of my mind... it wasn't them I wasn't making time for. They sure as hell got cut out but the person I was leaving behind was me...
Do you do that? Have you done that? Did you do that?
In the last year I have made an effort to make more time for me by being with my friends. I don't get to see most of them, but I make sure that I call, e-mail, text or in some way make contact with those people who are important to me. That's right. ME. with me it always boils down to... well me...
So the question is when you are happily settled into married life, your beautiful child (ren) is starting to grow up before your eyes (or your puppy is house trained or your parrot can curse like a sailor)... is it time for friends again or am I the only one who dropped out of friendship 101?
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
friends... eh, who needs them...
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3 comments:
Thank you, thank you for just "getting it"! I have been feeling this way lately too, where have all my friends gone? We have all moved away, all over the country, have different lives, some with kids, some without. And we try but each email/phone call seems to get farther and farther apart. Why do we let this happen???
What can I say? You fall, you get up. We've had those months/years. We have all had them. But it's like you said, who is important to ME? Not selfish, reality. And sometimes in the hustle and bustle of life, you forget what YOU need. Glad you remembered me. Glad I remembered YOU. Love you. I won't let you fall in the trash ever again. Unless I push you. Physically. BA HA HA HA HA HA HA - I crack me up!
ah yes... I have just recently realized exactly that. In losing my friends to age, family, responsibility, I have also lost myself.
btw: I'm glad you found me, its amazing to find an old friend and realize that you really haven't grown as far apart as one would have expected. I still see the same Cami in there I knew years ago... it gives me hope for myself.
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