easy bake oven... or into the fire...

When I woke up from my hazy morning fog and logged into my e-mail I saw a waiting message from my brother... he was in full on Uncle Matty mode this morning... his message was sent with one intention and one intention only.... Save the niece.

If you're a friend or regular reader you will know that K has the oh so coveted childhood icon... the easy bake oven... Hasbro just announced a voluntary recall of easy bake ovens. Oh no I thought. What's going to happen? Will my house burn down? Will it explode in her face? Will the happy cake burn? Well no. No my house won't burn down (not because of that at least). No it won't explode in her face. No the happy cake won't burn unless we burn it.

I guess the exact problem is that small children can insert their hand or hands into the opening and burn them or get them stuck.

This defies idiocy. Easy Bake ovens are intended for children 8 and up. At the age of 8 you should have the basic brain power to know NOT TO STICK YOUR HAND IN AN OVEN. It's a toy oven you say? Oh yes, it is... But it gets hot enough to freakin bake things so DO NOT STICK YOUR HAND IN IT.

What is that? My daughter has an easy bake oven? Why yes, she does... yes yes I know she is only 5. Oh, 5 year olds lack the common sense to know not to put their hand in the oven? Well, yes you could argue that a 5 year old (almost 5 as she so vehemently reminds me) wouldn't realize the potential risk of putting that cute sweet little hand in the oven... but you know what that means don't you? You either don't give the easy bake oven to your 5 year old OR if you do you make it very clear from the get go that they are under no circumstances ever to put their hands fingers feet toes elbows nose ear ass or any other body part in the easy bake oven or any other cooking device.

Still I think that might not be enough. Even for an 8 year old. So you know what I say? Be a parent. If your child has an easy bake oven, bake with them for peter pan's sake. Be there when it gets plugged in, watch or help them mix the batter and pour it into the pan. Make sure they don't spray the cooking spray in their eyes when they grease the pan. Help them use the paddle (it comes with the oven) to place the cake in the oven. When the cake is ready use that fancy new age cooling chamber to remove your baked goods as the instructions instruct... And at all times, this is important: MAKE SURE THEY DON'T STICK THEIR HAND IN IT.

I can not stress enough that if you are a parent guardian aunt uncle grandma grandpa nana papa child care provider or a 14 year old baby sitter your job when you are with the child is first and foremost to make sure the child survives with as little damage (physical, emotional, mental) as possible.

So please... if you have an easy bake oven purchased between May 2006 and February 2007 get the retrofit kit, do whatever is called for to make your easy bake oven safe(r)... but beyond that, please please pretty please with sugar on top... don't let you kids stick their hands in the easy bake oven...